Last year on St. Valentine’s Day our then three year old took her first karate lesson. Her uniform was the smallest they made — a 00000 — and she was swimming in it. Despite looping it around her so many times, her white belt still trailed along the floor. She stayed out on the mat the whole lesson and never cried. I remember her sitting there taking everything in with her great, big dark eyes. She was also sucking her thumb, something she only does when she gets nervous. I had no idea how very proud of her I would become until I saw older boys twice her size bawling red faced for their mothers. She just watched everything and I’m not sure they thought she would be a good fit. But by the next class they gently coaxed her little thumb out of her mouth. She didn’t speak, but she participated. I was beyond thrilled to discover that this was a South Korean martial arts studio, as my father served eight years in Korea. He knew some of the language and also was trained in that fighting style. A true war hero, at his funeral he received a full military burial complete with a 21 gun salute. I felt Daddy’s hand on this; I cannot explain it. My father treated me no differently growing up simply because I was girl. He never took my femininity away, but he made sure I could take care of myself and not be dependent upon some man or others for that matter. Burk and I met because I changed his flat tire! But I digress. After the first month of class I remember putting an exhausted little one in her car seat and she said, “Mama, may I please suck my thumb now?” and then proceeded to pass out. Burk and I decided early on this was going to be a commitment. It is a discipline that she will be able to use throughout her entire life. If she had been miserable we would have considered taking her out after six months. But gradually she got a little more confident and even started practicing on her own. She is now in the advanced class and to date she has earned her white belt, her camouflage belt, her yellow belt, her orange belt, and now her purple belt. This sweet picture was taken after she was awarded her purple belt. Next month she will test for her green belt. They have never treated her “like a girl” and she is in a mostly masculine environment. A family member asked if she could not do something “a little more civil like be a camp fire girl.” Martial arts IS civil; it is all about avoiding violence but being prepared to defend yourself if you ever had to. She does want to be be a Girl Scout when she turns five and that will be her second activity outside of school. Nothing against ballet, but (rhetorically) I wonder what will serve her better once she is in college and, heaven forbid, she encountered a threatening situation? Either she could throw her tutu at her would be attacker or she could twist out of their grasp, palm strike them to their face, and take them out at the knees. I saw a great YouTube video of a delicate woman somewhere in India being harassed while waiting for the train. She seemed so frail and the man was becoming more and more aggressive. Just as the train came, she turned to get her purse, elbowed the guy and then flipped him to the ground before she walked calmly away to board as throngs of people cheered. I am so glad my karate kid girl is studying such an ancient and noble practice.
“When people ask me about what I learned from martial arts, I don’t talk about favorite punches or kicks, or about fights won or lost. I talk about learning self-discipline, about ethics and manners and benevolence and fairness.” ~ Author Jonathan Maberry
What could be better than that?
