All Smiles At The Dentist

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When I was a kid, I DREADED going to the dentist.  I cannot remember his name but I can still see him.  He was a sadistic, mean old man who had a mouth full of yellow teeth and reeked of cigarettes.  Of course it was the ’70’s.  I had to have several cavities in the back filled (with lead; again — the ’70’s) and I swear he took pleasure in not giving me enough novocaine.  He asked me to raise my hand if it started to hurt and, later when I did, he leaned in closer with his fetid breath and told me to “stop being a big baby.”  I will never forget one tear trickled unwittingly out the side of my left eye and down my cheek.  It was the one he could not see but I was still humiliated nonetheless.  I was a feminine tomboy and very tough.  I do not know why I never told my parents about the awful, horrid man.  In those days they could not go back and had to wait up front.  Then when it was all over I remember being able to pick out candy while my parents paid the terrible bill.  Talk about a perpetuating cycle.  Well thankfully times have changed and things have drastically improved.  They no longer separate children from their parents and the people honestly like working with little kids.  My daughter LIVES to go to the dentist!  First, there’s the children’s LEGO area in which she “waits” before they call her back.  Everyone is smiling with shiny white teeth and they call her by name.  She has been in the “big chair” for the past couple of times and they always praise her for being so good.  They truly believe in preventative dentistry so this generation won’t have to endure some of what mine has.  The neatest trick in their arsenal is they asked who her favorite princess was and she said Cinderella.  So after they polished her tiny choppers they said they’d given her “Cinderella teeth.”  My little one just GLOWED!  She could not stop smiling!  Then yet another kind person with gleaming bright teeth took her to a different “waiting” (play) area while her handsome, gentle dentist asked if I had any concerns.  I could barely get her out when it was time to go.  She’d scored a pink rubber frog and a balloon with a bear tied to the bottom.  And I got to write her name on the “A+” “wall of teeth”!  Now I was smiling!  I could not help but compare this happy colorful place with the depressing avocado green adult practice of my childhood.  I vividly remember the one poster attached to the ceiling depicting a cat hanging from a tree.  It read, “Hang in there, it’s almost Friday.”

“There is no trust more sacred than the one the world holds with children. There is no duty more important than ensuring that their rights are respected, that their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and want and that they can grow up in peace.”  ~  Nobel Peace Prize recipient Kofi Annan

We always want better for our children and it makes me so happy that her story will be so different from mine.

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At The Park On A Lark

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One of the greatest joys of having a child is getting to be one yourself again.  Funny how “important” things get in the way of life and we stop going outside just for the sake of playing.  It seems we must always be doing something work related … whether it’s for our job or at home.  This was one of those days.  My sweet four year old had gone with me on all my rounds without complaint.  I was tired and she had on mismatched clothes.  Through for the day, I just wanted to go home.  But on our way we passed a lovely park we had often seen but had never visited.  On a lark I said, “Hey, do you wanna go to the park?”  She shrieked with glee, clapped her hands and her eyes lit up.  “Yes, please Mama!”  I made a resolution right then not to let “life” get in the way of living.  These are the precious pieces of time that cost nothing but are absolutely invaluable.  So we ran, we giggled, we explored, we seesawed, we sang silly songs and had an all around wonderful time.  Who cares how we were dressed?  That was, without a doubt, one of the most precious, well-spent hours of my life.  We both left glowing and happy.  My Daddy used to say that time was the one thing that could not be replaced.  He was so right.

“When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing – just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle or children playing in the park? ~ Writer Ralph Marston

So do yourself a favor and get out just for the sake of being out.  Look around you and enjoy.  I vow we are going to do so a lot more often.

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A Texas Sports Hall Of Fame Induction And A Miracle

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It was February 7, 2011.  My husband and I were going to Waco, Texas for his grandfather, Clint Murchison, Jr.’s induction into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame as founding owner of the Dallas Cowboys.  Burk was the eldest grandchild and had the most memories of him.  Family was heavily on my mind as I had seriously been trying to get pregnant for several years.  I had finished my second round of in-vitro after the first picture perfect one didn’t take.  Plus I just turned 40 and, to make matters worse, because of an accident they did not fertilize the eggs in time.  So the first try when everything was as good as it could possibly get I had about a 35% chance.  This time they said they would perform another round and cover the cost because of their mistake.  I asked if I even had a 10% chance and they said no.  But I will never forget my doctor saying, “I can guarantee you this:  if you do nothing you will have a zero percent chance.”  There I was, cold, huddled under a hospital gown, and holding Burk’s hand trying not to cry.  Those embryos were ours and I knew I had to try.  The thing is, after all my positivity, I KNEW I wasn’t pregnant.  I mean for several years I was so positive and this last time I literally had no hope.  Two weeks later I realized I had to go back to the doctor the next day to take a blood test to confirm I wasn’t pregnant — again.  The last time had been so hard and I dreaded going through it yet another time.  So I decided that morning to take an at home test.  Since I wasn’t pregnant I wanted to be able to drink the champagne the family was having on the way down to the induction in the party bus.  I took the test, set it on the counter, and left.  I truly don’t even know why I did it to begin with since I didn’t even bother to look at it.  Minutes later my husband called down, “Um Baby Doll” and I went back up to see what he wanted.  He was in the bathroom shaving and had noticed the stick; the dreaded stick that always came back with one line.  He was staring at it and I had honestly forgotten it was there.  And then, right before my eyes, an ever so faint second line started to appear.  Our heads knocked together as we peered over it in disbelief.  I honestly thought I had conjured it in my mind because I had wanted it so badly.  The desire for champagne flew out the window on the merest chance I could finally be pregnant.  And so the picture above is particularly special because it is the very day I knew my life had changed forever.  It was our secret and we were glowing.  Even after I passed my first trimester I was asked by the doctor who made the mistake not to tell anyone.  I could not understand why.  I had a wonderful, easy pregnancy with no morning sickness or complications.  *braggy mother alert*  After she was born nurses kept coming in to see the baby.  Convinced something was wrong I finally asked one of them why.  She told me that in all the years she had been a delivery nurse, she had only seen ONE other baby get a perfect 10 on their Apgar test!  A year and a half later we took Maris to show the staff and the endocrinologist.  Literally shaking, he asked if he could hold her.  I said sure and handed her over.  Cupping her cheek and, with a tear streaming down his face, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “medically this child should not exist.”  Then he asked if he could have his picture taken with her.  He also told me that he was Christian and he absolutely knew it was the hand of God.  He had been afraid for me to tell anyone fearing I would miscarry.  I had my precious miracle at 41 on my late father’s birthday.  She has my late mother’s name and her middle name is Grace because it is truly by the Grace of God that she is here.  She carries in her the blood of French royals from my mother, Choctaw tenaciousness from my father, Murchison history, and her daddy’s beautiful dark eyes.

For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. ~ 1 Samuel 1:27

Both of our families live on through her … and there is no greater legacy than that.  Achukma hoke.

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My Crowning Glory And Jane Seymour

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I do not consider myself to be particularly vain, but I confess I do care about the way I look to a certain extent.  When I think of all the women who have lost their hair to chemo I am ashamed of myself for even writing this.  My hair has always changed colors.  When I was born I was a red head and my mother was so thrilled!  Then it fell out a few days later and I was bald for several years.  Everyone thought I was a boy.  When it came back in it was strawberry blonde.  It stayed that way until junior high and then it went sort of auburn.  I spent a lot of time in the sun and got perms in my twenties and it went back to the color of my childhood.  A Salish friend of my father’s, who was a darling man, gave me the name Yellow Hair.  Still self conscious, I don’t think I started altering the color of my hair until my thirties.  It has a tendency to go yellow.  So yesterday I asked my hair guy to make it darker.  He practically begged me not to but I was determined.  Now I do not even recognize myself.  I know it will fade eventually; I just did not realize how much of my identity was tied up with the hair I saw in the mirror every morning.  At least I had enough sense not to chop it as I know I do not look good with short hair.  I have never cared for “celebrities” but I have always loved Jane Seymour.  I got the chance to meet her when she was in Dallas several years ago.  She has the most beautiful hair and I love that she has not cut it all off as she has gotten older.  Women used to have long hair; it was their crowning glory.  American journalist Shana Alexander said, “Hair brings one’s self-image into focus; it is vanity’s proving ground.  Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices.”  I suppose I need to finally come to terms with my Yellow Hair … and wear it proudly.

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Show And Tell

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I remember what a big deal it was when I was little.  Now that my little girl gets to do it, I think I may be as excited as she.  For her first show and tell she brought seashells.  Maris’ name means “of the sea” in Latin and we have made it a point to go to the beach every year since she has been born.  This was when I discovered my passion for shell collecting.  The only other time in my life I had been to the beach was when I was in the Miss Texas USA pageant.  We had a very busy schedule and I was unable to hunt for any.  I remember my mother loving shells.  She had spent time in Florida with her Aunt and Uncle in the summer when she was in college and had a lovely collection.  Mama used to let me play with them and I just cringe now because I think I chipped them and some of them are not so readily found anymore.  Fridays are show and tell days at Maris’ school and I love that we choose something together to bring.  So today was another show and tell day.  At least this time I was prepared.  Once I forgot and I fished up the sea life animal cracker box from the floor of the car.  In my defense, it had all sorts of beautiful color pictures and interesting facts about the ocean and its inhabitants.  Today she brought a book on what makes a rainbow.  I always love hearing how it went and she always seems so proud.  If you could choose something now for show and tell what would it be?  What do you treasure?  There is a Chinese proverb that says, “Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”

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Je Me Souviens

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“I remember” is the official motto of Québec.  In 1895 Thomas Chapais, historian, politician and member of the Québécois legislative council said this:

“The province of Québec has a motto of which she is proud and which she likes enough to carve it on her monuments and palaces.  This motto has only three words: “Je me souviens”; but these three words, in their simple economy of expression, are worth more than the most eloquent speeches.  Yes, we remember.  We remember the past and its lessons, the past and its misfortunes, the past and its glories.”

I will remember, as well.  I will remember Québec’s beautiful blue flags with the white cross and the fleur-de-lis proudly flying.  I will remember her living history of First Nations, France and Britain.  I will remember she is the only Canadian province to have French as its sole official language.  I will remember the cobblestone streets, the majestic St. Lawrence River, cheery flowers bursting from every front, and the sense of stepping back in time.  At the end of every trip I always take a picture of my souvenirs.  Second to Alaska, I found the most wolves here.  I got a darling Christmas ornament that has Santa petting a wolf which reads “Québec” and I could not resist the plush Royal Canadian Mounted Police husky or the Canadian Grenadier Guard beaver.  Whenever I look at them now in my office or on the tree at Christmas I remember:  “Je me souviens.”

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The Funicular And The Cathedral Of The Holy Trinity

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I had never seen or even heard of a funicular until I went to France.  They have one at Monmartre, the highest point in Paris.  So I was thrilled to discover one here as well.  For anyone (like me) who did not know, it is a tram-like railway with cars on a cliff attached by cable which move them up and down the steep slope.  The freaky part is the ascending and descending vehicles counterbalance each other.  Sometimes I think ignorance really is bliss.  Its name is derived from the Latin “funiculus” meaning “rope”.  We got to the bottom and discovered a whole area full of art galleries, restaurants and shops.  I loved seeing Native American things and spray painted on a wall in blue we read “Québec libre” (free Québec).  They still remain part of the British Empire but they are so French personally the American in me would like to see their ties with England cut.  In the next breath I will tell you the Episcopalian in me was thrilled to discover the Cathedral of the Holy Trinity, the first Anglican cathedral built outside the British Isles.  It is the mother church of the Diocese of Québec nestled in the heart of the Old City (Vieux-Québec) and was modeled after London’s Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields.  It proudly houses eight change-ringing bells which date from 1830; the oldest in Canada.  They were made by the same foundry that cast London’s Big Ben and the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia.  We loved the little church and a large stained glass panel depicting the Annunciation of Mary, which was quite beautiful, is among the pictures I took that day.

And Mary said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”  And the angel departed from her. ~ Luke 1:38

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The Château Frontenac And La Citadelle

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Today’s adventures would include touring the world famous Château Frontenac, visiting a working military instillation, and walking the old walls of the city.  Château Frontenac is quite dramatic, in my opinion, particularly as it is perched high atop enormous cliffs rising above the swirling St. Lawrence River.  First, I learned the château was never really a château; rather it was built in 1893 as a grand hotel with more than 600 rooms on 18 floors.  During a tour we learned it was where Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and William Lyon Mackenzie King discussed their strategy for World War II.  I also found out it is where my grandmother-in-law’s parents spent their honeymoon in 1925.  I’ll bet it was grand!  Afterward Burk wanted to see the Citadel.  It is the oldest military building in Canada located on Cap Diamant.  I thought it was really neat for them to allow civilians access and also liked seeing both men and women in uniform.  We wandered our way around the ramparts and saw, among other things, a large boardwalk running between the cliffs and the Château Frontenac, old cannons, and the St. Louis Gate.  Just outside in the “newer” part of the city rock music was playing in the square, Québec flags were flying and they had big “400” numbers that lit up the night.

“We have an unknown distance yet to run, an unknown river to explore.  What falls there are, we know not; what rocks beset the channel, we know not; what walls ride over the river, we know not.  Ah, well! we may conjecture many things.” ~ John Wesley Powell, U.S. soldier and explorer of the American West

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Our First Anniversary And Québec’s 400th!

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We made the drive up to Québec City and it was great seeing only French signs everywhere.  It had everything I loved:  Native Peoples (many tribes who are also in the U.S.), wildlife, history, French, and beautiful countryside.  We stopped to get gas and by the side of the station stood a goat as if it were a dog waiting on its master.  This was certainly not the steel and glass city we’d left behind.  With our ascent it got colder and started to rain.  We crossed the Loup River and I tried to get poor Burk to stop driving on a highway just so I could get a picture.  After only a couple of hours we entered into the capital.  Québec’s Old Town (Vieux-Québec) is the only North American fortified city whose ramparts still exist.  Declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1985, we were lucky enough to be visiting on the city’s 400th anniversary.  It was founded in the early 17th century by French explorer Samuel de Champlain and was home to a pivotal battle between the French and English in 1759 that shaped the future of North America.  After checking into our boutique hotel we headed out for one of our favorite vacation activities: “schlock shopping”.  I was thrilled because they had lots of wolf things and Burk liked the toy soldiers.  Ironically, I got an “I ❤️ Québec” t-shirt when I did not even get one in New York.  The chilly, damp grayness of the day did nothing to diminish the Old Town’s charm.  I got sunburned in New York and was pleasantly surprised to find myself needing a sweater here in June.  The old streets were lined with rows of little shops and cafés all bursting with colorful blooms dripping gracefully from flower boxes and hanging baskets.  It was all beyond enchanting with people out walking the winding cobblestone streets, seeing ancient pitched roofs, and hearing tiny bells tinkling whenever one entered a store.  I felt this must have been what Paris would have been like if one could have stepped back several centuries in time.  It was our actual wedding anniversary and we had made dinner reservations at Le Ciel (the sky), a revolving restaurant in downtown within walking distance of Old Québec.  Burk proposed to me in Dallas at the now-gone Antares, the revolving restaurant on top of Reunion Tower, so it was a lovely remembrance of such a special time in our lives.  We went to the top just before sunset and were treated to a sweeping view of the St. Lawrence River and the majestic Chateau Frontenac.  My favorite memory of the meal was the butter shaped like fleur-de-lis.  I loved them so much; they reminded me of the days when there were big ash trays in front of elevators at swanky hotels and someone would come along and stamp the sand with a logo after they were cleaned.  It may be a weird association but that’s where my mind went.

“Nearly all our originality comes from the stamp that time impresses upon our sensibility.” ~ French poet Charles Baudelaire

Our time in old Québec City had already impressed itself indelibly upon mine.

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