Avast ye mateys!  Shiver me timbers, it be national Talk Like a Pirate Day.  Blimey I thought the store just let this buccaneer dress up, thinking ’twas work related being at Trader Joe’s.  Now listen here ye scurvy scallywags, quit yer snickerin’.  Aye, ’twas a logical conclusion with the store bein’ nautical and all.  ‘Tis why they have bells at the cash registers ye bloomin’ landlubbers.  Any old salt or seadog would know that.  Arrr!  Alrighty me lads and lasses, I shall cease wif’ me tryin’ to parrot pirate speak before ye think about gettin’ three sheets to the wind with grog and trying to walk the plank.  Nobody wants to feed the fish if ye get me drift.  The beloved American entrepreneur Walt Disney rightly once said:

“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.”

Now I need to end this tale, weigh anchor, and get the poop deck shipshape.  Then I think I will celebrate by splicing the mainbrace and diving into a good book, right after I pillage some of me wee lassies’ delicious, gluten free Pirate’s Booty.