OK I have been convinced of two things for several years now: first, whatever TV show I love gets cancelled and second, anything I become attached to in the grocery store gets discontinued. I realize these are first world problems so I feel a little guilty even mentioning them. When I switched to almond milk for animal ethics reasons I tried a lot of different creamers. I finally settled on one I truly like even better than cow’s milk but it is always hard to get. I have been battling with some invisible adversary for about a year now over them. Repeatedly schlepping to a grocery store that’s not right by our house is neither easy nor convenient. So I went from buying them in threes to quantities of four; still leaving a couple for this other person. They must have become tired of the fight, too because one day there were none — nada; zip; zilch; zero. One would THINK stockers would have paid attention when some lunatic wiped the shelves clean of their entire stock but NO. Apparently it’s all done automatically and I will tell you, their system does not work. Heaven only knew when they were getting more but I was assured “the system” was aware. I do not care for my coffee tasting bitter; the creamer is an integral part of what makes it so enjoyable. Forced to buy one weird creamer after another, I refused to give in to the unimaginable torturing of cows just to have “regular” cream. So I went for days with no coffee (incredibly without killing anyone.) When the hubs announced he was going to the store I found myself gripping his shirt front and telling him to buy all the creamers they had. Attempting to tell me that was extreme only added fuel to my fire. Trust me, the man could not live one HOUR without his precious almonds. And I had been without my coffee for almost an entire week! He came back with one. And so I found myself back again anxiously looking for the darn stuff. I knew I could not fight the system but I could fight The Man. By now I felt my eyes bulging as I began mumbling and plotting, checking every single day for my creamer. And then one day, as I trod my well worn path to the creamer section, I saw one. I ran straight for it like an arrow closing in on its target. As I put it in my cart I discovered there was another behind it! And another! And another! I actually scaled the shelves like a fanatical squirrel with my rump propping the door open while I reached all the way to the back to get the very last one. A kind of maniacal glee coursed through my body as I made my way triumphantly up to the register with my spoils. My coffee creamer hoarding nemesis had been defeated! Giving in to remorse, I decided to magnanimously put one back. In the meantime it’s gonna get down to 18* and Mama’s going to enjoy her coffee without fear of running out. Another beauty of almond milk is that it doesn’t expire for ages. So now my plan is when I get down to three full ones I’m stocking back up. The ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu once said:
“The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.”
My invisible enemy may have won the battle, but I won the war.
