Growing up in an apartment, there are some things I discovered on my own never to gripe about or take for granted. For instance: painting, yard work, or planting. It’s funny what people complain about when they do not fully realize what they have. I suppose I might have been the same way, too but those were not the circumstances under which I grew up. And, as incredibly difficult as they were, it served to shape and mold me into the person I am today. My husband and I are just about identical in thought which I have always found somewhat fascinating and unusual given our very disparate backgrounds. One of the things I want most for my child is to fully understand the difference between fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate is not a trip to Europe: fortunate is healthy parents and food on the table. I believe she gets her inherent kindness from both of us and I feel it is my job to make sure she understands that the definition of “fortunate” varies greatly. In some countries — and on Indian reservations right here in the United States — that means access to clean drinking water and electricity. Many native peoples STILL do not have these; and this is not supposed to be a “third world” county. My husband and I have been blessed, thanks to my mother-in-law and step-father-in-law’s help, to have our house for over ten years now. It is the first and only house I have ever had. I STILL cannot get used to the sensation of not having loud music thumping through the walls, being able to actually see out of a window from the kitchen, and having my own piece of land where I can plant. We have colored walls, ceiling fans, a wood-burning fireplace, a screened porch, and two stories — all the things I always wished for growing up. I do not want our little one taking any of these things for granted. Sadly, in Dallas it is far too easy to get caught up in whose house is more huge, who drives what car, etc. I was the one “poor” kid surrounded by affluency in an elite city chorus when I was a child. I was so ashamed of my father’s car I begged him to drop me off where the other girls wouldn’t see me. I have one vivid memory, though, of us taking a break at the water fountain and this girl had her hair in gorgeous French braids — something I’d always wanted. Another girl complimented her and she looked very sad as she said her nanny did it. I realized then how fortunate I really was. For ten years we have not had our own fence for one whole side of our house; the side which borders the only neighbors we have. The fence along the alley was starting to waggle precariously like a child’s baby teeth and our old wooden fence was just single board pine and only six feet tall. One can build up to eight feet without a permit. My husband was the one who really wanted us to have this and we were able to go the two feet higher and have a sturdier cedar with a crown. Since we do not have a big yard I feared it would close us in but, on the contrary, I feel liberated. The American poet Robert Frost once quipped, “Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.” Seeing it all taken down like this I realized how incredibly important it was to finally have our own fence. At last I feel we have some measure of privacy as well as security and it looks beautiful — plus I know it truly belongs to us.
