Maybe it’s just a southern thing in the United States, but family china, crystal, and silver are still cherished.  I have had my grandmother”s and my mother’s wedding registry since they have passed away.  We fell on hard times and had to sell our family silver when I was little.  Some of my maternal mother’s thick, heavy, exquisitely hand-cut rose bowls and vases one could not purchase now if they wanted.  Contrary to popular belief, it is not EVERY woman’s ultimate “dream” to marry.  My father impressed upon me from the time I was in the fourth grade that when I got to college it was to get an education — first and foremost — and so I did.  When I was at SMU I really enjoyed my sorority and going out with fraternity boys to all sorts of fun parties.  Yes, the guy that drove a Porsche may have used it to his advantage … but guess what?  He was cute and I have always loved nice cars.  I was stunned to discover there were just as many “gold-diggers” with the boys, and yet that is a term that is most ALWAYS associated with girls.  There were some guys in college who dropped me like a hot potato once they realized I had no money.  Then there were the wonderful exceptions, like Anders from Germany who proudly picked me up for a dance at my parents’ apartment and never treated me as anything less than a lady.  He was so kind I wish I could have loved him.  He played rugby and did not seem to give a hoot for American financial dynamics.  Although I always wanted to be married with a family of my own, as I grew older it just seemed my chances for what I really wanted became slim to near impossible.  And then I met the most wonderful guy.  I can still vividly recall the first instant I saw him.  I wound up changing his flat tire and he wound up buying me ice cream.  We started dating exclusively three months later, just after I’d turned 35 and, after a year of dating, we wed eight months later.  Suddenly I found myself a fiancée having a big church wedding with between 300 and 500 people, and almost all of my own family had passed.  Getting to “register” as a bride was so exciting:  we got to choose our own china pattern, crystal glassware, and silverware design.  I kept envisioning all the holidays and parties I would host with both sides of my future husband’s family.  While I am very proud of our our registry, it remains mostly on display behind the wood and glass of a very old china cabinet that came from my husband’s maternal side of the family.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not admire it, as it lives in front of our little family dinner table.  What I had failed to see though, as a future wife and (by the grace of God) a future mother, was the everyday.  The normalcy of marriage … when you’re both tired from getting off work; when you don’t feel like cooking something new; when you make sure there are leftovers you know your partner is looking forward to because they’re having to stay late.  It’s the times they request your “comforting” casserole when they’re sick.  You develop favorite recipes and things you just make up along the way your family winds up loving.  I never thought to register for bakeware, I guess because I had my mother’s beloved brownie pan, the one she used for meatloaf, and her covered casserole dish I regularly use and bring to church gatherings and parties.  As much as I treasure my registry, after almost fourteen years of marriage, I feel it is our cookware which seems to hold the most family memories.  It’s the gleam in their eyes when you set that dish on the table.  It’s the weird little marks after years of use that won’t come off no matter how hard you scrub.  It’s both the routine and the specialness when you look back and realize all the things you have shared over that bakeware.  The American restaurateur Guy Fieri said, “Cooking is all about people.  Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together.  No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people get together to eat.”  To the newly married couple smart enough to register for it, I hope you both know it is with much love that your cousin and I bought you all just a casserole dish.