The British preacher Charles Spurgeon is quoted as once having said, “By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”  I really like that.  I can remember being little and announcing I was seven and a half.  I always wanted to be older because I thought that’s where “IT” would be.  You know, the elusive “IT” that means life is at its greatest.  Sometimes I wonder if I’ve already lost “IT” with the deaths of my much beloved parents.  Sometimes I wonder if I’ve finally achieved “IT” with being married and having a child.  I’m not saying that’s for everyone, by the way; I just always wanted to have a family of my own.  And doesn’t it seem as if summers lasted forever when you were young?  I know it did for me.  Life was full of endless possibilities and was going to be even better when I reached “IT.”  At first “IT” was getting into college, then “IT” was graduating, after that “IT” was buying a condo, next “IT” was at last finding The One.  I thought the final “IT” was having my daughter.  Now I realize I have so many more “ITs” to go.  I feel as if life is a roll of wrapping paper letting itself out slowly but going faster with the passing of each year.  My little one keeps asking if she’s a kindergartner instead of being in Pre-K.  I want to tell her to it relish “IT” as long as she can.  Time is such a precious gift and how we choose to spend it says a lot about where our heart is.  Mine is with my cherished miracle child and my impossibly handsome husband.  “IT” is simply too dear to be rushed.  Now I just want “IT” all to move as slowly as a snail.

Canadian author Charlotte Gray once said:

“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word.  And has filed it for reference.”

I happen to subscribe to that theory.  And so when I came upon Soleil and Elgin lounging together in what is supposed to be my spot on my bed I did absolutely nothing.  Well, except for take their picture.  And even then I had the feeling I would pay for it.  They looked perturbed and simply sat back.  I decided I could remake the bed later when they’d moved on to their second lounge spot of the day.  Cats are very civilized creatures and ours are outgoing and friendly as well.  Cats are also quiet and clean, but mischievous.  Elgin eats my flowers and Soleil chews my phone chargers; both of which are maddening.  And cats, like women, hold a grudge.  If I scold them Elgin gets even by shredding things (Burk refers to this as “interior decorating”) and Soleil scratches my pleather furniture.  The last two just make me want to weep.  People who do not love animals cannot understand why those of us who do endure it.  The simple answer is we do it for love.  We bear it for our love for them and for their love for us.  NOTHING for me beats being curled up with a cat in my lap and a good book.  So yes, our house has some cat hair here and there and we have had some “interior decorating.”  But their fur has absorbed my tears, their purrs have lulled me to sleep, and their meows greet me every morning (admittedly to wake up and feed them).  For as much as I have rescued them they have rescued me.  And the cats sat back.

New shoes, new socks, trying on clothes and not particularly loving it; ah the joys of going back to school.  But my little one said she was “nervous and excited” to be returning to her Montessori school where she will be in the same classroom she had last year.  She will already have some friends she knows from her first year.  This is her second.  Her school has three “grades” in each class:  primary students in their first year, second year (Pre-K) and third year (kindergarten).  I only attended private school for kindergarten and first grade and we had no uniforms.  I LOVE that she gets to wear them and frankly I am glad to see some public schools adopting the practice as well.  I got made fun of in junior high mercilessly by a rich girl for wearing the same clothes a lot.  (If she only knew I’d gotten them at the Goodwill.)  At the risk of sounding somewhat socialist — which I most definitely am not — uniforms bring a sense of communal equity and also a feeling of being on the same proverbial team.  I think they are wonderful.  From a mother’s point of view there is no battle over what to wear each day and it puts the focus where it belongs — on learning.  I know my little one is proud of her school and loves her plaid.  The wee bit of Scots-Irish in me is proud she has her own plaid as well.  American author Tom Bodett said:

“The difference between school and life?  In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test.  In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

She has so much to learn.  But for today, I am just glad she had a “great” first day of Pre-K.

Maris:  it means “of the sea” in Latin.  She has been to the beach every year of her life since she was eight months old.  My little one loves the water and is truly a water baby.  Her eyes are as dark as the bottom of the ocean and her hair curls like the waves of the tides.  I cannot recall a time when I have not had to drag her out of the water.  At about one and a half she let the gentle current rock her to sleep on a shaded baby float I was holding.  Despite her visible exhaustion she has refused to leave.  Once when she was two I saw the cabana boys taking up the umbrellas and chairs and I told her the beach was closing.  They were actually removing everything so the sea turtles could come out to nest.  I explained we shared the ocean with them as well as a host of other creatures.  Since then it has been a tiny bit easier.  When she was three we got her shark arm floaties and I will never forget when she said, “Bye Bye Mama”, turned away from me, and was wildly far off before I could practically blink!  Burk told me to be careful of the undertow and I freaked out!  I had absolutely no idea, given I had grown up in a landlocked city and did not have the privilege of traveling a lot before marriage.  This past year I remember her telling me she needed to use the facilities and, I confess, I told her she could just tinkle in the water.  Horrified, she said, “Mama, I do not want to hurt any of the animals in the sea!” and to this day I feel guilty.  The Canadian marine wildlife conservation activist Paul Watson has been quoted as saying:

“I have been honoured to serve the whales, dolphins, seals – and all the other creatures on this Earth.  Their beauty, intelligence, strength, and spirit have inspired me.”

Now we have a little mermaid who truly believes she is able to swim and she is fearless.  We know it is past time for her to really swim independently; it is a lifelong, lifesaving skill.  And so she was beyond excited for her first day of swim class at an indoor swim school.  Her smile never left her beaming face and she kept making little squeals of delight.  She really did look and sound like a little dolphin.  So far she has mastered two skills in her Dolphin 1 class.  Her father and I hope that by Christmas she will be able to not only save herself and float, but eventually … swim like a dolphin.

My little one and I have been watching “Mulan” lately.  I think it is the last Disney movie I got to see with both of my parents before my father passed.  I have always loved it, but now that I have a girl of my own I have a greater appreciation for it all — the story, the history, the humor, and the lessons behind it.  I love so many Disney classics, but this is one of those I can watch over and over which, to me, proves its mettle.  Starting with the emphasis on Mulan’s appearance in the beginning of the movie, I have noticed how many times people have been kind enough to remark upon my little one’s looks.  Yesterday it even happened remotely by a teller in a bank who was in another state and simply saw her on the screen.  I remember experiencing the same compliments as a kid, but as I got older my father would say, “Thank you; she just won her school Spelling Bee!”  Since my girl is too little for me to point out many academic achievements yet, after she thanks them I always chase that with “and she’s up for her first black belt in martial arts!”  The looks of surprise on male and female faces alike make me realize society has progressed but not nearly far enough.  If she were a boy they would not even bat an eyelash.  Plenty of people have truly not believed it until I have shown them the videos on my phone of her breaking boards with either her foot or her elbow.  At least I feel she is doing a small part in giving people pause from saying girls are just pretty and only boys are strong.  In our small entryway is a large, cobalt vase filled with orange (I cringe to admit this) artificial blossoms.  They look great all year round and the cats don’t eat them.  Anyway, I was going out the door when I glanced over and saw this pictured above hanging perfectly suspended from the flowers.  Silently congratulating my little one for recognizing the shoots were Asian, I wondered what on earth Mulan was doing there.  And then I decided to leave her as a reminder that being underestimated can be an asset.  My favorite quote from the film:

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.”

American writer Ray Bradbury once said, “Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”  My little one, as you can see, was red-faced and happy after bouncing up and down on a trampoline at her friend’s birthday party.  At first she was afraid.  She could not even climb on it by herself.  When she finally did decide to get on, her feet did not leave the rubber.  But then, slowly but surely, there was a tiny bit of space between her toes and the trampoline.  After a little while longer she was gleefully jumping; increasingly without as much caution.  I confess as a kid I was scared and always worried about getting stuck in the coils.  I want her to be careful but not afraid to try new things.  So much of life is about taking a leap of faith and I think when we stop doing that we stop living.  I have no desire to skydive but I would like to try and paint more.  I may not be the best but it is out of my comfort zone and I have learned from trying it.  I want to continue to push myself to explore new things and I encourage anyone reading this to do the same:  jump, and unfold your wings.

Awhile ago I found this lamp and fell in love with it.  I am drawn to anything natural and especially like anything reclaimed.  It is one of a kind made straight from a naturally fallen tree, and I just adore it.  We always needed something like a floor lamp in that spot in our den and when I came upon this I knew it was perfect for us.  Our bed is made from naturally fallen cedar logs and it was actually mine before we married.  Then we have an end table and a stump stool made from reclaimed teak tree roots.  When we were first married I found a solid chair carved from a dead tree but they wanted something exorbitant for it … like $2,500!  About a month later I took my husband to a tribal festival in Oklahoma and I found almost the EXACT same chair … for around $200!  I was astounded and ecstatic and to date it remains my greatest coup.  I love to read and I have used that chair, the lamp and my bed all for the purpose of a comfortable escape.  American novelist Elizabeth Hardwick once said:

“The greatest gift is a passion for reading.  It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind.  It is a moral illumination.”

My quest continues to find unique things that are natural and reclaimed as well as great books to get lost in … for illumination.

I never realized how superficial Dallas was before I was able to start traveling.  She is vain to the nth degree, has always carried delusions of grandeur, harbors no love for history, values only that which is shiny and new, and is very much a superficial town.  Having said that, she is still home.  Now I just know all her flaws, whereas before I only suspected them.  The snobbery continues right down to the help, sort of like a butler in Victorian England.  I had so many invisible markers growing up that I thought if I’d hit I would be part of being accepted:  when I graduated from SMU, when I got my Rolex, when I bought a Land Rover.  My daddy taught me never to hate or envy; simply to aspire.  And so I never resented anyone who had money; I just wanted to have it, too.  He also taught me a valuable lesson:  there will always be someone younger, prettier, smarter, or “better” than you somehow.  That was not meant to run me down, rather it was meant to show me the futility in striving to please others.  It is truly ironic I wound up marrying into a wealthy family.  The name is fading but old timers still know it.  In college I was taught to study hard; not get an Mrs degree.  If you have a house someone else has one which cost way more than yours.  If you have a nice car, there is one out in front of you twice as expensive, as pictured here.  I can still remember what a privilege it was just to GO to the movies as a kid … and we rarely ever went.  I snapped this picture when we were getting out to see a show.  By the way I LOVE this car and would drive it if I could!  But not to impress others; I just think it’s a sweet ride.  The Swiss-German artist Paul Klee once said:

“Beauty is as relative as light and dark.  Thus, there exists no beautiful woman, none at all, because you are never certain that a still far more beautiful woman will not appear and completely shame the supposed beauty of the first.”

I am trying to impress upon my little one how lucky we are to be able to go see a movie on the big screen.  She doesn’t fully understand now but I intend to make sure she does as she grows older.  Some snotty kid will be bragging about going on vacation and trust me another kid will have gone some place more exclusive.  Meanwhile so many people never get to go anywhere at all.  So whereever you are and whatever you have, be thankful.  Trust me; it’s all relative.

I have heard physical therapy called pain and torture.  I actually look forward to it.  Ever since breaking my shoulder I have not been able to lift my arm.  I try not to complain but it also really hurts.  Twice a week I come in and lay down while they loosen my muscles up with heat.  Then my therapist manipulates my arm to get my range of motion back millimeter by millimeter.  It used to be excruciating; now it’s a good sort of hurt.  Since my bone has healed she is really able to get in, press it, and stretch it.  It seems as if we all take things for granted until we lose them.  Dutch priest Henri Nouwen once said:

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

That is precisely what my therapist has done for me in PT.

My husband left for work with a redhead and a brunette.  And my little girl is the one who helped him do it.  Burk had blisters on his thumbs and our little one LIVES to bring out the Band-Aids.  She was all out of Scooby Doo, Daddy’s first choice, so she bestowed her beloved Princesses upon him.  One of the things I have always loved about my husband is he truly does not care what other people think.  He went off completely fine with the fact that he was wearing Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” and Jasmine from “Aladdin” on his hands.  When he came home his little nurse eagerly inspected his bandages and was thrilled to see they were still firmly in place.  My husband and I, like any couple, have had our share of ups and downs.  I would think that is to be expected.  But we have always been transparent with each other, and for that I am truly grateful.  Dallas senior pastor T.D. Jakes said:

“My mother would take the Band-Aid off, clean the wound, and say, “Things that are covered don’t heal well.”  Mother was right.  Things that are covered do not heal well.”

With a satisfied nod our little one pronounced he could sleep in them.  I told her she had done a great job but now it was time to take the Band-Aids off.  When she asked why I explained things that are covered do not heal well.  And besides, the only one who will be sleeping with my husband is a blonde … and that’s me.  It was time to take the Band-Aids off.