For many years after my daddy died it was just my mother and me.  I started my petsitting business and was especially thankful for the work around and on the holidays.  It forced me to get out and I would bring Mama along with me (who no longer drove.)  Together we would make my rounds visiting dogs, cats, the finned, and the feathered.  It kept us from feeling so lonely.  She loved to ride around looking at the Christmas lights and seeing all the decorations.  Thanksgiving was hard I must confess as I would drive by and look at all the shiny, happy families through the windows as they celebrated.  Neither one of us cooked because it was just the two of us and I was working so much we would just go out most of the time.  For years I spent so long being defensive over our lives’ circumstances.  I was 28 and would be changed forever the day my father died.  With startling clarity I realized God had blessed us so much having our precious family of three.  We were so close and trying financial times only brought us closer.  My business made me feel so good being appreciated by others as they went off to see their families while I took care of their four-legged ones.  Everyone likes to feel valued.  My father’s absence is still a hole in my heart, and my mother’s death still does not seem real after over two years.  But God has been gracious, allowing me to meet and marry my handsome husband and blessing us with our precious little girl.  Sitting outside tonight enjoying a cigar I took this picture.  I could look inside this home and be proud it was my own.  Better still I knew I had a beloved husband and cherished child sleeping peacefully inside it.  One of the women whom I have always admired the most, the deaf-blind American author and lecturer Helen Keller, said, “What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.”  As I have grown older I realize “it” was there all along; I just needed to discover I could only find it by looking in.

The Canadian physician Sir William Osler once said, “No bubble is so iridescent or floats longer than that blown by the successful teacher.”  I have always adored bubbles.  I even had them at our wedding reception instead of birdseed (which I learned was actually detrimental rather than beneficial.)  One of the things that first drew me to my husband, as silly as it might seem, was that his email address had the word “bubblegun” in it.  Recently I got our little one (OK both of us) a bubble machine and we were out playing the other evening.  I cherish this picture I snapped on impulse.  It managed to capture a candid moment of time in her life where she was just out enjoying the night air and marveling at the magic of the bubbles’ colors, sizes, and ascent.  Thinking back to Sir William’s quote, I started examining my own bubble and all who have helped shape it thus far.  Without a doubt my bubble was strengthened and rose to new heights thanks to my parents.  I had teachers who helped it take on different hues, and the arrival of my beloved child enlarged its size — literally and figuratively.  To me bubbles are an ageless joy that hold magic for all with an open heart.  As long as one maintains an open heart — whether it is toward learning about another culture, trying a different food, or discovering something new — life will always be full of bubbles.

Country music legend Willie Nelson said, “Great songs stand out wherever they’re from.”  I inherited a vast musical appreciation from my mother.  She had an ear for effortless voices and did not discriminate with regard to musical genre.  Among her favorites were the country music legend Willie Nelson and Latin legend Julio Iglesias.  I will never forget when they teamed up for that seemingly incongruous duet — my mother was in absolute heaven.  I think they were pioneers in that respect; at least I cannot recall any disparate duos that were so huge prior to them.  My mother also adored Luciano Pavarotti’s voice, and I know she would have loved his duo “Holy Mother” with Eric Clapton.  It has been around for years but I am just now discovering it.  CDs have become something like old record album covers … obsolete, nostalgic pieces of memorabilia.  I love a cool “repurpose” and there is a restaurant we like which does not take your name in order to be seated.  Rather, they give you an empty CD case to hold.  It find it hilarious and it just never gets old!  You’ll see some huge guy answering to Beyonce or hear an elderly woman saying, “I’ve got Guns N’ Roses!”  It’s so much more fun and interesting to see who’ll you’ll be or what you’ll get until your table is ready.  It brings back memories and sparks conversation, even among strangers.  On this day they gave my little one Mama’s beloved Willie Nelson.  I know she would have been thrilled.  I took this picture while we were waiting on our table and told her after we’d finished eating I’d play my favorite song of his, Texas, from my phone through the car.  We knew we were up when we heard “Willie Nelson?  Calling Willie Nelson.”

My little one has roped me into watching a new cartoon with her called Shimmer and Shine.  Unfairly, I was prepared to dislike it from the onset.  Aesthetically, the colors are vivid and beautiful and the opening theme song is really good.  Also, three girls are the central characters which, as the mother of a daughter, makes me happy.  All I had as a kid to see mostly was the bombshell ditsy Daphne or the unfortunately drawn Velma who was portrayed as the smart girl on my favorite Saturday morning cartoon Scooby Doo.  In this series these girls are smart and pretty (proving the two are not mutually exclusive) and, best of all, each episode centers around correcting their mistakes and remaining positive.  In an age where everything is three dimensional (which is cool, don’t get me wrong) it is somehow comforting to see just an “old school” cartoon drawing.  I love the Indian influence and lately I have found myself watching movies like, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Bend It Like Beckham, and Bride and Prejudice, an all-time favorite Bollywood movie of mine that remade Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice.  Even our Siamese is in love with Nahal, the girl tiger cub on the show.  You can see from this picture how he watches her on TV.  I know some parents do not allow their children to watch any television, or very little.  My feeling is, it’s summer and our little girl is five.  She is still taking swim lessons, reviewing her work to start kindergarten, and practicing taekwondo.  Plus I’m speaking French with her.  The Chinese born American lawyer Amy Chua, author of the book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, said:

“Tiger parenting is all about raising independent, creative, courageous kids.  In America today, there’s a dangerous tendency to romanticize creativity in a way that may undermine it.”

I believe that without a little freedom one cannot learn to be independent, creative, or courageous.  My parents were very strict but also empowered me.  If a little girl can’t spend part of her time watching magical flying carpets soaring over rainbows I do not see how she is to find satisfaction in the mundane.  She lives in a house where anything is possible, including watching a Siamese in love with a tiger.

As a woman, I love seeing our little girl have other strong women to look up to.  Today we were back at the vet’s for a recheck on our wolfie Cheyenne.  She had lost a lot of weight and we had been extremely worried about her.  Fortunately, our excellent veterinarian got her back on track and also took the time to let my little one listen to our wolf hybrid’s heartbeat.  I just snapped this picture and I think it speaks volumes.  Look at the way in which our vet treats our five year old:  she spoke to her like an adult (no cutesy voice and no dumbing down of vocabulary) and I watched our little one just puff up with pride.  My girl talked about it all the way home and I was so touched that our vet’s time and kindness could do so much for our child.  She did not have to take the time to do so and yet she did.  I wonder if my little girl will look back on this on day as one of those times which shaped her … you never know.  I know that I am proud to patronize such a wonderful veterinarian with a sharp, incredibly kind group of assistants; all of whom, by the way, happen to be female.  My little one was surrounded by half a dozen women, all of whom treated my little one as an equal rather than a child who needed to be condescended to.  Not only do our wolfies look forward to going to the vet’s (proof of how outstanding that office is) but now our little one does as well.  I watch her stand a little taller, speak a little more, and shine a little brighter each time she is there.  The Indian born American author Vivek Wadhwa, author of the book entitled Innovating Women:  The Changing Face of Technology, said:

“What you want in a mentor is someone who truly cares for you and who will look after your interests and not just their own.  When you do come across the right person to mentor you, start by showing them that the time they spend with you is worthwhile.”

I believe that our vet sees in our little one time spent that is worthwhile.

I know everyone thinks their loved ones are beautiful.  We all can find beauty in anyone or in anything we choose.  As expressed before, I am a hopeless romantic.  I believe in soul mates and also love at first sight.  I believe in true love and also in lasting love. I am not sure everyone, for whatever reason, is always lucky enough to find all or any of those things.  Or, if they do, it might not be the “right” time.  It may have taken me a long time but I was finally lucky enough to have found my love.  I can still remember seeing him walk into that restaurant where we met over twelve years ago.  I think my husband is the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on.  He is tall, slender, smart, witty, has an incredible head of thick hair, full lips, deep, dark eyes, and dimples which, when combined with everything else, I find too much to resist.  He also has the finest speaking voice I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.  If all that weren’t enough, he wanted to marry ME.  And that stunning little girl sitting on his lap is all ours.  They say good things come to those who wait.  The father of natural history in Britain and Anglican priest John Ray once said, “Beauty is power; a smile its sword.”  I can say that these two have effortlessly and forever conquered my heart with their smiles — my beautiful family.

Things have really changed for us now that our little one is no longer in a stroller.  Our walks may take us longer but it feels way more participatory for us as a whole family.  We are blessed to live in one of the prettiest places in the city, surrounded by huge trees and a creek where we are able to enjoy all sorts of wildlife.  If we have time to do the “full loop” it is almost three miles.  (We essentially make a giant ellipses around the creek regardless.)  Our five year old walks our Shih Tzu Chin Chin, I walk our girl wolf hybrid Cheyenne (a little over 70 pounds) and my husband takes our biggest baby, her woflie brother Dakota, who weighs a little over 90 pounds.  On days when the weather does not permit we just take the “short loop.”  Pictured here is our beautiful early turning point, a bridge over the creek about a mile away.  I find the bridge, the creek, and the trees enchanting in any season.  But the true beauty lies in being out with our animals and each other.  Sometimes we’ll talk about the day or what we’d like to do coming up and sometimes we simply walk in silence and take in the always tranquil sights, sounds, and smells of Mother Nature.  And she never fails to disappoint.  I would say our walks and meals are the two most important times we have together on a regular basis as a family.  I realize as I write it is also the only time no electronic devices are allowed (except my Apple Watch to know if whether or not I’ve gotten any exercise.)  I look back and cannot believe I felt sorry for myself because I had never had a TV dinner until college!  My mother cooked every meal from scratch, and Daddy always appreciated it.  I took it for granted.  The only walking I did with my family was at the State Fair or Six Flags, but it was always a special time.  It takes a concerted effort to carve out and hold open that time and I often fail.  But each day I resolve to do better.  The American essayist Henry David Throreau once said:

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.  To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.  To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”

I hope and pray our family time will carve a deep path into all of us, just as the time I had with my parents did with me.  My father so often said that time was the one thing he could not replace.  I wish for our time to be spent loving, learning, and listening to each other over shared meals and our family walks.

Yesterday we ate with family and stayed out way later than normal for our little one.  She was a party girl and kept up with everybody.  I know some parents never deviate from a child’s routine.  But my feeling is hey it’s summer and she’s five.  I think a kid should be able to live it up a little and have some ice cream past their bedtime in the summer.  Now, once school starts all bets are off.  She will be going to bed early and we will already be prepared for the next day; no exceptions.  My father was the one who instilled a strict sense of discipline in me with regard to learning and it has stayed with me into my adulthood.  Our little one will be starting kindergarten so her foundation starts now.  And I want to do my best to ensure it is a happy and strong one.  I had a security of knowing church was on Sunday, school was Monday through Friday, and Saturday was devoted to the roller rink.  So while I very much had structure, I was also exposed to many different things by my parents, who were lovers of music, art, and history.  The American supermodel Christy Turlington said, “When you are balanced and when you listen and attend to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, your natural beauty comes out.”  My baby doll certainly has a natural beauty; I just hope to provide her the with the right balance.

My mother used to sell Avon when I was little, but I was convinced she bought more than she sold.  In the days before childproof caps I once drank an entire bottle of Avon’s Skin So Soft.  I remember a nurse in a dress with a pointy hat standing behind folding avocado green curtains.  I also remember sitting on a cold metal table while charcoal I guess was put down my throat.  All I recall after that was overhearing the nurse telling my mother that I was “a drinker” and that she should watch me after that.  I was three at the time.  For the record, I also remember drinking a bottle of something at the vet’s office but nothing untoward seemed to have happened to me then.  It was the ’70’s.  So recently when my little one was going through some of my mother’s things she asked if she could keep this heart shaped bar of soap.  “Of course,” I told her.  Mama passed two and a half years ago and I still cannot bring myself to finish going through all of her belongings.  I try to do it in stages.  Anyway, my little one was thrilled with the soap and proceeded to give it a place of honor in her bathroom.  The Australian born, United Kingdom resident industrial designer Marc Newson said, “I have a lot of objects in my space, little things, reminders, memories.”  Even though my baby did not get to know her namesake long, I am thankful to God she will always have her “reminders;” both mental and tangible memories.

Today my little one received her first medal — a tiger medal in taekwando.  Neither she nor I had any idea the Grand Master was going to bestow the award upon her in front of her peers at the end of a regular class day.  I think it is safe to say both she and I were shocked and so proud.  I do not think I ever got a medal until high school when I was in the elite choir.  Let’s face it, to some that can be pretty geeky.  And, despite all my little one’s achievements in martial arts thus far, she had never received a medal.  I am telling you it is just flat out cool.  It is heavy and substantial.  My little one is so very proud of it, as she should be!  Frankly, I wish I had a cool tiger medal like that!  I am amazed at the juxtaposition between the Grand Master’s strength and gentleness.  It is a contradiction worthy of pursuit.  She also got a super cool certificate with gold dragons on it!  I was all kinds of jealous (in a good way!) and wished I had gotten something like that.  The American football coach Bill Parcells said, “You don’t get any medal for trying something, you get medals for results.”  I confess I have never been a “team sports” fan but I believe that as well.  Medals go to the victors.  Trying is worthy and should never be discounted — but nor should simple participation garner a medal.  In life sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.  My father taught me if I did not win easily and did not want to lose I must simply work harder.  I believe in that ethic.  And I hope that is what I am instilling in our child.