Precisely as I sat down to write this my little one came over and asked me when I started my blog and then wanted to know why.  I was stunned that she would ask not only today but at the very moment before I started to type.  I launched Seashells and Carousels exactly one year ago on Thanksgiving Day.  My sweet mother passed the day after Thanksgiving two years ago.  I thought I was doing OK until my first year without her was about to end.  Grief and an overwhelming sadness over her loss and of being an orphan started to overtake me.  So I began thinking back to all my father had instilled:  to be positive, to look for the good, and above all to keep faith in the deep, abiding love of Jesus Christ.  The American author Melody Beattie wrote:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

As I was setting our table tonight I took this picture.  It is not in our formal dining room; rather it is where we always eat.  I did not drag out our wedding china, crystal, and silver; I just used our regular plates, glasses and flatware.  This is my life.  This is what it looks like after a long day of work, playing with my little one, and trying to cook a special meal for my family.  We had a fire going, soothing music playing, and were surrounded by our precious wolves, cats, turtles and fish.  I had no make up on and we all were completely relaxed.  There was no pressure; just the pleasure of each other’s company.  It is my sincerest hope that as you read my blog each day you will leave feeling a little happier — regardless of race, faith, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, political affiliation, or anything else.  Just come as you are and know that you are always welcome with no judgement.  As of this writing I have had over 20,000 visitors and over 318,000 hits.  Be blessed; it is for you I also give thanks.

In the Episcopal church each Sunday parishioners are asked to stand if they have a birthday on that day or in the coming week.  I think having a birthday blessing is wonderful.  Unfortunately, my little one and I both missed our birthday blessings last month.  So I was startled when she asked if we could stand today to receive ours now.  I noticed some parishioners looked a little thrown because they knew we were born in October.  I was a little embarrassed and then I looked down at my little girl who was smiling up at me.  I did not even think she had really been listening.  She taught me that children DO listen and that it is never too late to receive a blessing.  How lovely is that?  It is never too late to ask for God’s blessings.  The classical Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us.”  I asked my husband to take this picture so I could remember what I learned from our five year old today.  It is never too late and I was so glad we received our belated birthday blessings.

I found myself for the first time in years at a fast food place.  I knew they had free Wi-Fi so I could work on my blog while I was waiting for my daughter who was at the doctor’s.  The “golden arches” gave me my first job and the familiar scents of breakfast wafting around me brought back all sorts of happy memories.  Of course I ordered critter free before taking my seat at a booth near the windows.  And then I looked up and saw this man.  He was sitting on the wall outside but facing the restaurant.  To me that suggested that he did not feel comfortable coming in but still wanted company.  My father spent many years on the street ministering to the homeless.  I learned after my father died not to judge.  Things that seem so black and white just aren’t.  I found myself angry that a couple of retired old white guys just kept staring at him with disgust.  The man was doing nothing wrong.  I did not have any cash but I was thrilled to learn I could still purchase a gift certificate with my credit card.  It wasn’t a lot but I knew he could stretch several meals out of it.  I worked on my laptop and waited until the man came in to go to the restroom.  As he was headed back out, as casually as I could, I stopped him, smiled, and said, “for later” as I handed him the gift card.  His hazy dark blue eyes cleared for a second as he focused on me, careful not to touch me, and he said a shocked, “Thank you.”  I nodded and went back to my seat.  In Matthew 25:40 it says:

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

For one brief moment, as I was handing him the card, I felt the most unusual tingle run up my arm and down my spine.  When I looked directly in his eyes I thought to myself, you have just seen the face of God.

Today is known as All Saints’ Day, or All Hallows’ Day.  Christians around the world celebrate in honor of all the saints, known and unknown.  My father, who spent his childhood in the Church of the Nazarene, always loved St. Paul.  My mother, who was Methodist for most of her life until she joined the Episcopal Church, always loved the Ever Blessed Virgin St. Mary.  I grew up referring to them by their first names, which seems disrespectful to me now.  Some Protestants believe Catholics, Orthodox, and other Christian denominations worship the saints and that it is a form of idolatry.  On the contrary, we are called to strive to be like them who led their lives following Jesus Christ and showing His love to others.  In the Book of Common Prayer the collect for today reads:

“Almighty God, you have knit together your elect in one communion and fellowship in the mystical body of your Son Christ our Lord:  Give us grace so to follow your blessed saints in all virtuous and godly living, that we may come to those ineffable joys that you have prepared for those who truly love you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting.  Amen.”

Today I will strive to be more like St. Mary, who answered God’s call without question, St. Paul, who wrote so strongly of faith in Jesus Christ, and my beloved St. Francis of Assisi, who once preached to the birds and befriended a wolf.  I wish all who read this a very blessed All Saints’ Day.

I always love a good theme.  Our little one’s name means “of the sea” in Latin, and this year she is going to be Ariel for Halloween.  The Little Mermaid was her birthday theme as well.  I am not particularly girly, but this is absolutely the prettiest costume I have ever seen!  The sparkling silver shells, the sand dollar on her belt, the “fish” netting and pearls were all so cleverly done for a child’s costume.  It even had gills on the bodice.  So I was thrilled when we got a chance to go to a Halloween event and she could wear her beautiful costume more than once.  The matching hula hoop in this picture was purely coincidental.  Watching her standing on top of the bouncy house castle I thought she could not have looked any more like a princess.  We had the best time and Burk and I were the only adults who dressed up.  You know what?  Life is short.  I have discovered as an adult that I love Halloween.  I wore a long blue wig with a rope net sweater and a “seaweed” boa.  I have discovered part of my inner child I missed out on when I was little and it is such a joy getting to experience it now.  Burk was the handsome commanding naval officer and he completed his ensemble with the white captain’s hat he got when we took a dinner cruise in New Orleans.  It was just a very happy time.  They had a make your own frito pie station my husband lost his mind over and there were gluten free things for our little one as well as vegetarian options for me.  And we still have Halloween to look forward to!  The Italian Dominican friar Saint Thomas Aquinas once wrote:

“As mariners are guided into port by the shining of a star, so Christians are guided to heaven by Mary.”

My precious child’s name honors the Ever Blessed Virgin Mother Mary, known for centuries as Stella Maris; the star of the sea.  And it is she who lit the way with a promise; a promise which graced me with my own precious star of the sea.

Sundays were the happiest day of the week for me growing up.  It was the one day Daddy never worked and we all went to church as a family.  I used to love coming down for the children’s sermon.  Church has always been an integral part of my life.  The huge stained glass tableaus in Grace United Methodist where I was baptized had such a profound impact on me I would write my first book on Christian symbols when I was eleven.  I have always loved the hymns, going to receive Holy Communion, and being with my family.  Now my baby is learning the joys of fellowship with a body of believers in Christ.  Recently our parish began having children’s sermons and my little one is just the right age to begin going up to the front to listen.  She knows The Lord’s Prayer and is learning when to kneel, when to stand, and when to bow.  In the Gospel of St. Mark Chapter 12 Verse 30 it says:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

It is my great hope that my little one will develop a deep, abiding love for the Lord and that our family’s faith will continue for generations to come.

Last week was the first time back to chapel for my little one and her classmates.  Everyone was in their chapel dress and, after watching them reverently and quietly walk in, I decided to stay instead of just dropping her off for school.  I found myself thinking it was the right way to start the day, and my spirit was refreshed just by sitting with the familiar feel of a wooden pew underneath me.  The sight of lit white candles in front of me added to the brightness of the early morning sun illuminating the beautiful stained glass.  Above me a large Celtic cross was suspended from the ceiling in the center of the altar.  I had unwittingly become peacefully present in this place of worship; first with myself, then with my surroundings, and then with God.  Maris’ teacher proceeded to go over church etiquette and explained we never put our feet on the kneelers.  I cannot tell you how many times in our own parish I have seen grown men slam them up lazily with their feet or watch people irreverently rest their dirty shoes on them.  Worthy of any seminary graduate, my little one’s teacher began showing them the basics of how to construct a prayer.  Of course I believe God hears our prayers regardless but I have always thought it was good to pray with mindful intention.  Feeling a bit like a school child again myself, I shall attempt to convey what she said and pray I have it correct.  She explained we put our hands together for several reasons.  First, our thumb is pointing toward our hearts.  We should begin with praise in our heart for God.  Second, our pointer finger may be used for confession.  I thought that was interesting, given that in almost every culture around the world that particular finger has been used to accuse others.  This serves to remind us to focus on our own sins and shortcomings instead of pointing to those outside ourselves.  Third, she said our center finger, the longest, should be used in gratitude for everything God has done for us.  How lovely; the longest part of prayer is to be dedicated to thanksgiving.  Fourth, our ring finger, is also the weakest.  I knew that to be true from taking karate.  This finger may be used as intercession:  our prayers for those in need, with the acknowledgement that we cannot do without God’s help.  Last, our pinky, the littlest finger, serves to represent the petitions we pray for ourselves; a humble reminder that we should place the needs of others before our own.  In Matthew 22:37 Jesus said:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

Our clasped hands in total represent meditation; that we are listening for God.  And now, with our palms pressed together in front of our hearts, let us pray.

Some years ago I bought this prie Dieu.  It lives between the glass French doors that look to our pond outside and my piano inside.  It felt like the right place for it.  I am incredibly chagrined that the cats seem to use it more than I.  Exhibit A:  this picture.  In French “prie Dieu” literally means to pray to God.  It is a type of prayer desk/kneeler intended for private devotional use but may also be found in churches.  They have a couple in our Parish’s lovely old chapel and I have used them at times after lighting a candle and praying in quiet reflection surrounded by stained glass.  Our church bulletin used to read, “Worshiping in the beauty of holiness” and I still use that phrase.  Often the Rosary is recited.  As I do not have it memorized, it takes me quite a while to get through.  I use an iPhone app so if I’m at church I fear people think I’m on Facebook or something.  The prie Dieu did not appear to have received its present name until the early 17th century.  I fell in love with the little chapel in Marie Antoinette’s Petit Trianon, where I saw hers and was deeply moved.  Often people assume I am Roman Catholic.  I am actually Episcopalian (or Whiskeypalian, as I often joke).  Of course one does not need a prayer bench to pray; we can pray to God any time, any place, and any where.  I just hoped it would inspire me to pray more often and with more reverence and devotion.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.”  I strive to do so.  Now if I could just get the gatos off my kneeler.  We all know they sit quietly a lot with their eyes closed … they must be contemplating the Catechism.

The romantic in me has always loved candlelight.  The realist in me knows that is simply not practical on a daily basis just from a safety standpoint alone.  I like to burn one large candle for scent in the fireplace where it is protected.  Once there was this horrid stench and it turned out the cat singed her tail from the candle I had been burning on the coffee table.  Not only was I worried about her, it definitely negated the pleasant smelling atmosphere.  Then I discovered these realistic looking candles that flicker but do not burn.  They are the same “candles” used at the Disney theme parks.  I have three sets of taper “candles” (silver, blue, and orange) plus a set of green pillar candles.  They stay on and bring me an immense amount of pleasure.  Plus I never have to worry; they’re completely safe and battery operated.  I have always liked gas lights on the outside of homes and they have just come out with electric “candles”!!!  Now either side of our front door flickers and we’re not harming the environment!  And I also have them in our entryway chandelier!  I just love them.  The Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist Edith Wharton once wrote, “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”  I think that’s lovely.  It reminds me of the Christ candle at church.  He is the light of the world and Christians are called to carry and spread that light as well as emulate Christ’s actions in the way we treat others.  Maybe we cannot always be the candle, but we can certainly strive to be a reflection of its flickering flames.

I just wrote about our entryway the other day and here I found something else I never noticed.  This time I was coming in and was struck by the beautiful blue light streaming through the window in the afternoon sun.  I go in and out a lot every day between dropping the little one one off at school and picking her up, taking her to karate and swimming, having physical therapy on my mending broken shoulder, my rounds which are at all hours, church, and countless errands.  But I cannot recall a time when the light has been so beautiful.  It reminded me of stained glass, for which I have an intense passion.  When I was eleven I wrote my first book on Christian Symbols solely because of my lifelong love for stained glass.  It made me wonder if I have missed anything else in my rush to hurry here or there.  The Dutch theologian Desiderius Erasmus once said, “Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.”  I think God gives us these moments to slow us down and see everyday things in a new light.