My husband is a wonderful man and I am lucky because I really believe he truly loves me.  I asked him though to please not buy me flowers for Valentine’s Day because they’re so darned expensive — and I meant it.  I kept telling him we did not have money to burn like that — and I meant it.  He had to work Valentine’s so there was no night out planned; certainly not a romantic date in the works.  When he came home he asked if I’d had a knock on the door.  Puzzled, I said no.  Then he pushed this beautiful arrangement of all different kinds of roses toward me that were in a shiny red vase.  I struggled not to say “I asked you not to” and instead I told him they how very lovely they were.  And then he asked me if I liked the vase.  Glancing down at the metal in my hands I said I thought it was cool because it was metallic.  He told me that he had really looked a lot on line at what they had.  I knew this was his way of trying and I told him I loved all flowers (particularly the smell of lilies) but that on Valentine’s Day roses were truly the best.  “I didn’t want to just get you grocery store flowers,” he said, looking proud and unsure at the same time.  The more I looked, the more I noticed there were sweetheart roses as well as other types of roses I did not recognize — all in colors ranging from red to pink.  Surprisingly, our uncivilized cats managed to leave them alone for an entire week.  Then this morning we were awakened with an ear-piercing shriek followed by inconsolable sobbing and indiscernible wailing.  Jumping out of bed, I was greeted by a series of rose petals scattered in varying degrees.  I’m talking they could have filmed an episode of “The Bachelor” at our house amount of rose petals.  Our little one was in histrionrics and I wondered if I should get her inhaler.  Just about every surface in our home was covered by the silky soft petals.  For once my uber romantic side did not kick in and all I could think was what a mess!  They were trailing down the stairs, strewn all over the formal dining room, littering our little one’s playroom, and leading down into our den.  And that is when I discovered my beautiful St. Valentine’s bouquet had been absolutely decimated by some psychotic cat.  I had a good idea as to whom … a certain wild half Siamese kitten.  He had taken his “kills” and had methodically spread them all over our house.  It bordered on the macabre.  Burk awakened and, sounding strangely like my father, hollered, “That damn cat!”  Meanwhile, over the disbelief of my little one’s red-faced tears and the incredulity of my husband’s red-faced cursing I discovered something … four red roses had not been touched.  I told them both it was OK as I put the few remaining roses back into the vase.  The American romantic poet William C. Bryant once wrote:

“Loveliest of lovely things are they on earth that soonest pass away.  The rose that lives its little hour is prized beyond the sculpted flower.”

It was then that I realized the immense amount of joy they had given me.  Rather than lament their inevitable loss, I looked down at the vase once again and noticed a great surprise — the roses had covered the shape of the vase.  It took life’s messiness to uncover what had lain beneath … a heart.

For years I have bought a product for my home from a woman who has not responded well, if at all.  It is important for me that our house smell good right when you walk in since we have a small zoo.  Month after month I faithfully ordered under her name.  When I had a problem once she never helped me and yet I still kept patronizing her.  There was no defining moment, I just decided one month last year to stop buying from her and went without.  I told myself I was saving money but I did not like coming home without the welcome scent of something sweet and delicate overriding the air.  So I decided to start the New Year on a different note.  Last month I Googled a list of other representatives in my area.  The woman I chose responded not only immediately but cheerfully.  This picture shows how my first order was delivered — personally.  I found out I had been missing all sorts of extras I had earned plus I was having to pay for shipping!  In addition to bonus scents, free samples, and saved money this sweet woman took the time to put it in this bag for Valentine’s and bring it over.  That would have been lovely enough.  But she didn’t stop there:  she brought this precious little monkey for my daughter and the chocolates for me.  “It’s just a small thing,” she said as I was quiet, reflecting on her kindness.  It was no small thing:  this woman made me feel appreciated and valued — no price can be placed on that.  I am learning to stop trying to drink from dry wells and to go where I am wanted.  This was a valuable lesson for me; I only wish I’d learned it sooner.  The German novelist Jean Paul said, “Be great in act, as you have been in thought.”

Our house reminds me of my little one’s fish tank.  One minute everything is going along great and the next everything seems to have gone to pot.  We have two televisions in our home; one in our den and one in our little one’s playroom.  They both were working fine when we went to bed the other night.  I like to start my day with a bit of writing over my cup of coffee, and when I went to put on my soothing music I discovered we had no internet connection.  Despite my various troubleshooting efforts I had to call for help and they said a technician needed to come out to replace something.  The earliest they could arrive would be in a couple of days.  In the meantime I cannot control our thermostats, lights or even our coffee maker from my phone.  I realize these are first world problems and I do not wish to complain.  Rather, I’m pondering why everything was running smoothly and then all of a sudden it’s like our little fish tank became full of algae.  The American composer Duke Ellington said, “A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”  That is how I try to view everything, from hardship to SNAFUs like this.  Our little one is scared of the dark and my husband wants to watch the news.  One minute it’s broiling and the next it’s freezing.  The way I see it is we are blessed to have our own house, something I did not have the luxury of growing up.  We are blessed with electricity, and we are blessed to have iPhones that can do really cool stuff.  My mother did not have TV when she was a very little girl and she said she used to live for a radio program called “The Shadow.”  I confess I love books and watch TV but I have never simply listened to a story.  The past few days we have talked more, read more, played more, and simply looked at each other more.  What a gift and a reminder that we always have each other, so we are never really tanked.

When my mother was growing up she had a Siamese cat named Suki.  She was a great cat; the only thing was she would get out at night and leave her “presents” the next morning … namely dead rabbits.  Of course mother was horrified.  When she got married she brought Suki with her and I remember her when I was very little.  She lived a long time and her passing was particularly hard on my mother, who had her since she was a teenager.  When I was about eight Daddy took Mama and me to get another girl Seal Point Siamese and he named her Ling Ling.  Much to Mama’s disappointment, Lingy was always my cat.  She spent all her time in my room and only left to eat and use the litter box.  I took her with me when I moved out and she lived until I was about 28.  Lingy had shared most of my life with me and I loved her so.  I wrote about this at Christmas, but sometime last fall a beautiful fawn-colored calico mama cat had kittens in bad conditions; three favored her and two had blue eyes.  They were all gorgeous but one in particular got my attention; he looked like a purebred Blue Point Siamese.  I named him Blue and hoped he would keep his striking blue eyes.  His mask has darkened perfectly and all his points are exactly as a Siamese should be.  His eyes have remained a stunning light blue.  However as he has grown, so have his antics.  I had remembered the great intelligence Siamese have and that they are very communicative.  What I had forgotten was how wild they can be; as wild as a March hare Mama used to say.  Blue is as wild as they come and certainly has the intelligence.  The cat can outhunt the wolves in scavenging for food.  He will stealthily sneak up and snatch anything edible out of your hand before you even realize what’s happened.  And he will get into anything:  witness Exhibit A in this picture.  I have found him in my huge pot on the stove, inside the Christmas tree, on top of my little one’s five foot tipi, and on the mantle.  I had forgotten how Siamese love to be up high.  He has already broken two of my things.  But I have NO earthly idea how he managed to get on the windowsill above a twelve foot ceiling.  I have pictures of it all.  He’s a long, lanky thing and spends much of his time lying in wait to pounce on others.  The poor wolfies are scared of him because he hunts their tails.  He hides under the bed, in bags, underneath tables and sometimes he just openly runs, leaps and dives straight down like a fox.  The Austrian born psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud said, “Time spent with cats is never wasted.”  Blue certainly keeps us on our toes (or hiding them) with nary a dull moment … our gato loco.

It’s not every day a girl gets to wear the equivalent of a house on her finger.  This is the most stunning ring I have ever seen in my life.  My husband and I went to a charity event at a beautiful jewelry store and they were gracious enough to let me try it on.  I was quite proud to have been wearing the exact same ring, only a third of that size.  Mine looks like a Kashmir sapphire but it is really tanzanite.  Also, my ring is in white gold and of course this beauty was set in platinum.  Bubbles and bling, combined with hearing from good kids for whom the cause benefitted made for a delightful evening.  I am willing to bet I was the only person in that glittering room who had ever been on the receiving end of something like this.  It is a camp just for kids with juvenile diabetes and the event was to raise funds for those who could not otherwise afford to go.  In the fourth grade I began singing with the Dallas Girls’ Chorus and the next year I was the ONLY one who could not afford to go sing in Washington, D.C. for the President.  It was incredibly painful to be left out and has stayed with me to this day.  I do not have diabetes but I do know what it is like to want desperately to go to camp and seeing how upset your parents are because they simply do not have the money to send you.  Twice through church scholarships I got to go to Sky Ranch in junior high and they are still some of my fondest childhood memories.  So I really understand the importance of being able to attend.  I felt so good that we were able to make a donation, knowing that at one time someone had done the same for me.  The American hotelier Conrad Hilton said:

“Charity is a supreme virtue, and the great channel though which the mercy of God is passed onto mankind.”

I can say it is eminently better to be on the giving end; however, there is no shame in receiving.  I thought how great it was that this couple who owns the exquisite jewelry store and has been so blessed has chosen to be a blessing to others.  And, I realize this is a trivial thing, but I love it when we leave an event and they have the valets place “goodies” in our car.  It was just a fun cap on a terrific evening.  We got two beautiful publications and a bag of absolutely delicious chocolate chip cookies.  My husband, who is not big on “parties,” even told me he had a wonderful time with me.  I felt like a million bucks.  Now if I could only get half of that I could have that bling!  😉

Today is Valentine’s Day, or the feast of St. Valentine.  It is celebrated in many regions around the world but is not recognized in any country as a public holiday.  Through the centuries it has become a day associated with romantic love.  I have always been an incurably hopeless romantic.  This day has invariably been a disappointment for me I suppose because of my expectations.  It’s not the flowers or fancy restaurants, it’s the ROMANCE; the sentiment that is supposed to be behind all of it.  For the record, I think it this day should not be solely for one or the other; rather the couple.  I remember when I was in my late teens or early twenties crying a lot on this day.  The guy I was dating at the time either didn’t bother to even buy a card or he expected something that a good girl simply did not do.  Throughout all of it my folks always invited me to come and eat with them.  They truly wanted me but I was old enough by then to realize they needed their own time to just be with each other.  My father was a romantic.  When he was dating Mama he brought her fresh flowers every week.  Fiinally my Grandmother Maris asked him to stop because she said the house was overflowing.  He wrote Mama poetry often and for no reason.  I would see little notes on the refrigerator with hearts that he would leave for her after he’d gone to work.  She was adored and I often wonder if she was truly aware of it.  Certainly, she loved my father deeply.  But I think she became accustomed to how good he was to her.  Every Valentine’s Daddy would go to the grocery store and buy her a giant Russell Stover’s ruffled silk heart box full of candy.  But what I always loved was that he also bought a little one for me.  He would say they were for his two best girls and then wink.  He was devastatingly handsome and truly a good man.  This day reminds me of New Year’s in that I think it can be very difficult for people.  If you find yourself alone and reading this, know that someone out there loves you,  And, if you truly feel you have no one who loves you may I suggest you reach out and love others; it is the surest way for love to come back to you.  If it somehow doesn’t, I can promise you that rescuing an animal from certain death at a shelter will be the greatest love you will find on this earth.  Cat or dog, old or young; they KNOW.  And they will always be unconditionally loving and grateful to you because of it.  Of course there is always the love of our Creator, who knows you by name and knows all of your desires.  Love encompasses so much.  The American motivational speaker Denis Waitley said:

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

When my husband came home tonight he had gotten a long stem pink rose from work.  I asked him to give it to our little one.  Listening at the playroom door I heard, “For ME?  I never got flowers from a MAN before!”  Now Valentine’s for me is about the unending, overflowing love I have for my daughter.  From the second I saw her I loved her more than my own life, and I knew I had been struck by cupid.