I can no longer wear contacts and I have not worn glasses in years.  I remember my first pair were 1970’s huge and I had my initials on the bottom right corner of one of the lenses.  I have never liked glasses and in fact there is only one pair of sunglasses I have ever found that I like.  Now I have actually found a pair of peepers I really, truly like!  First, I can SEE (I need them for distance) and second, they actually make me happy.  They are my favorite, beloved shade of blue, and I do not mind wearing them.  And I can see!  Did I mention that?  I am so grateful for my eyesight and once again I have been reminded what a tremendous blessing it is, not to be taken for granted.  The famous American author Helen Keller, whom I have always greatly admired, said, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”  I think that is incredibly profound coming from a woman who spent her entire life blind.  There will always be shadows in life, but one can choose where they place their focus.  I choose to face the sunshine.

Oh the joys of the park.  I have just realized as I write this the only time I can recall going to the park with my folks was when we went to White Rock Lake.  Otherwise I just ran wild between two playgrounds with a pack of kids in our apartment complex.  But times have changed.  So now I am instructed to put down my iPhone and come and play.  Literally being on the see saw again makes me feel like a little kid.  Only in the ’70’s it was a red wooden board and you just held on and prayed you wouldn’t fall off.  Now they have handles and springs to make sure one doesn’t go too high.  Speaking of high, my little one braved climbing the caterpillar and then became afraid of coming back down.  I remember doing the exact same thing.  I shot this picture before I helped her toes reach terra firma again.  She was so proud!  The great South African revolutionary Nelson Mandela said:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

So take courage!  Whether it’s believing in yourself, or taking a ride on a caterpillar.

The English writer Thomas Fuller once said, “Health is not valued till sickness comes.”  Ever since my early twenties and I had my first ocular test (where they take an image of the back inside of your eyes) I have had what is literally called “suspicious eyes.”  My eye doctor LOST it the first time she saw them.  I mean she seriously became unglued.  I have had to have them monitored ever since.  My mother had glaucoma and cataracts, as did my uncle, but they did not develop them until they were at least in their mid-sixties if I recall correctly.  I remember when I was in the first grade someone came to school and we all went in a darkened room where we were told to stand on these glow in the dark feet and read letters.  I have had to wear glasses ever since.  The weird thing is, my eye sight has always been 20/40 (which is not that bad) and now it has improved — after 40 years! — to 20/30.  But I knew when I saw the specialist after a three year hiatus something was not right.  My eyes literally felt like they were going to bulge out of my head and I had not noticed until they dilated them that they were completely dry.  Literally EVERYONE in the waiting room was at least in their 70’s and I was drawing a lot of stares.  I looked so long at this beautiful piece of art I decided to take a picture of it.  My eye pressures turned out to be high and I asked how long they’d been that way.  My doctor said there was no way of knowing.  I asked if there was any permanent damage and he said he didn’t “think so.”  I was given two sets of eye drops to take twice a day for ten days.  If the pressure didn’t get lowered he said he was going to laser essentially drainage holes in the backs of my eyes to alleviate it.  So I have had a weird sense of deja vu as I have tilted my head back to put in drops every morning and evening.  I watched Mama do that for most of my adult life.  When I went back my pressure had returned to the normal range but I will need to stay on them for the rest of my life.  Growing up I often overheard others make high handed remarks over what those who had less money should or should not do.  It is so easy to be pious and have car insurance, health insurance, and life insurance when you have money.  And yet I know first hand if one went to a movie or wanted a nicer TV they were judged.  It’s not that poor people are irresponsible; it’s about wanting to have something in life a little frivolous; something that brings them respite from the pressures of everyday survival.  I tried to save money by not going to the eye doctor and I am sorry now.  I will never know if my skipping those exams caused my pressure to rise or if it would have happened anyway.  But let me encourage you:  no matter what your financial station is in life just bite the bullet and go to the dentist to have your teeth cleaned, visit the doctor, and get your eyes examined.  Trust me when I say you are not saving money in the long run.  Heath IS wealth.

I can tell it’s getting to be that time of year.  I love to look at catalogs (and of course I recycle) but at some point going through them becomes something of a chore.  I try to get thoughtful, unusual gifts on a budget and I look a lot to catalogs for Christmas presents.  Today, though I got 20 full size catalogs all in one day!  All I could think was that the poor postman must have an aching back.  My husband even likes to look through my catalogs (the toy ones) and I have bought consistently from a few I really like for several years now.  There is a monastery catalog that benefits the monks; they make their own wine, honey and soaps plus print beautiful Christian iconography.  Then there is a catalog called Serrv that contains crafts handmade by women from all over the world.  It is a fair trade organization that protects our environment while empowering women and sending children to school.  They have recycled wall art from Haiti, bedding from India, scarves from Peru, coasters from Kenya, ornaments from Nepal, and Galilean organic olive oil that is building bridges between Arabs and Jews just to name a few.  And I always make sure to buy from Native Americans.  All of these things are handmade and I feel great supporting organizations that are helping people who are working hard to get ahead.  I also think they are nicer gifts than just buying something from the mall.  Every year I try really hard on this.  The American entrepreneur David Green, said:

“You need an attitude of service.  You’re not just serving yourself.  You help others to grow up and you grow with them.”

This year I am going to try to mostly buy gifts that will also benefit others, and I hope it will help remind me of the true spirit of Christmas as I am bogged in catalogs.

The first real totem pole I saw was in Vancouver before we took a cruise which toured the Inside Passage.  I was with my future husband and his maternal side of the family.  We got to see totem poles up close in national forests as well as in museums.  They are monumental pillars carved with figures by the indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest coast in the United States and in Canada’s western province, British Columbia.  The word “totem” most likely comes from the Ojibwe meaning kinship group.  Among other things, they tell the stories of clan lineages.  I came in and got this shot as two sets of chocolate brown eyes looked at me with love.  Our little one had been giggling as my beloved was attempting to stand with her, all while she was shrieking and hanging onto him by fistfuls of his hair.  I looked at them full of love and thought, this is my clan, and this is my lineage.  The Irish born writer George Bernard Shaw said, “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”  An earlier heaven indeed; we need to add in the wolfies and the cats but otherwise this is the story of my family totem pole.