When we first bought our house we had to buy a washing machine, dryer, and refrigerator since the previous owners took theirs with them. The microwave, stove and dishwasher were all the same brand so that is what we chose to stick with. I am discovering things just don’t last like they did when I was kid. We had ONE vacuum and ONE refrigerator essentially my entire childhood. Now, as machinery and technology are becoming more sophisticated, I suppose there is more to break down. We were fixing our fridge to the point of it no longer being cost effective and I was fortunate enough to wander into a showroom where they were having an obscene (and legit) appliance sale. I took measurements, researched and finally allowed myself to admit I just loved the dark blue lights, the extra inside space, and the little ice cubes it made so perfectly. As a kid my job was having to pour the ice in the tray. For some inexplicable reason I DETESTED doing it and now I have an affinity for small ice as a consequence. I expected my husband to be thrilled. What I had not anticipated was the look of stunned disbelief my little one had as she threw open the French doors and simply stared up transfixed, mesmerized by all the LED lights illuminating our new refrigerator like something out of Las Vegas. “Mama, it’s like we have TWO refrigerators!” she said as she kept her huge eyes trained unwavering inside the doors. In the bottom freezer part I gave her the top drawer for all her gluten free food, I took the middle drawer and gave Daddy the big, deep drawer at the bottom. I found myself showing off its features like it was the “The Price Is Right”, accompanied by echoing “ooohs” from my little family. “And look! There’s a spare ice tray!” I found myself exclaiming. That will come in handy for our next party, which reminded me of some party we held at our house once and, as parties often seem to do, a lot of people were congregated in the kitchen. More aptly, they were congregated around the man tending bar in the kitchen. A woman we knew brought a guest and her boyfriend proceeded to crack on our fridge, carrying on about how tacky the magnets were. He was a guest in our home, freely availing himself of our alcohol and heavy hors d’oeuvres, and insulting the hostess. The ironic thing is, I grew up with Mama having magnets on her fridge and I promised myself when I moved out I was going to have a clean refrigerator devoid of any kitsch. And then when I got my first apartment Mama got me one little magnet with baby wolves as a housewarming present. I had my first wolf hybrid cub and it was one of the sweetest gifts she had ever given me. From then on I was attached. Those magnets tell the story of my life: with past pets, a childhood picture, my folks kissing on a train, and a token of all of our travels since we have gotten married. When I first got our new fridge it was so sleek and shiny. I found myself polishing it every two seconds because of the blasted fingerprints. Then I discovered it had to have its own cloth. I felt like I had just purchased a new pair of designer sunglasses only it required a lot more work. And then I realized I did not want to be a slave to an appliance; I wanted it to bring me pleasure. So my little one and my husband helped me put our familiar magnets up much like decorating a Christmas tree. American television producer Charlie Ebersol said this: “As long as you’re centering back to home base, and that’s the strongest magnet in your life, that everything else is okay.” Jesus Christ, my family, and my home are my magnet; I will not worry what others may think and I know that everything else will be OK.
(Sea) Stars and Stripes
This year I wanted to dress my little one patriotically as I always do for the 4th of July. When I came across this outfit I thought it was the most clever thing I had ever seen. Her little blue top had white sea stars and her red shorts had horizontal stripes. I thought it was a perfect and fitting take on the “stars and stripes” for my little star of the sea; the meaning of her name in Latin. It was a happy family time. And she certainly has it different than when I was a kid. There was music, face painting, a buffet, snow cones, bounce houses and glow sticks for when the sun set before the private fireworks began on the lawn. I think my husband used to take the festivities for granted, having grown up with them all his life. I am so thankful my little one has the privilege but I do NOT want her having the false sense of entitlement that too often accompanies such luxuries. It’s a bit like living in America in general I think. One simply EXPECTS clean, running water and electricity. Now Americans seem to expect a TV in every room and food available wherever they may be — whether it’s a grocery store or a hardware store. I do not want want to become complacent about any of it: having a car, readily available medical treatment or AIR CONDITIONING! Anyone able to read this is blessed simply by having access to a computer. America may not be perfect but I still believe she affords all a chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. As the song “America the Beautiful” says:
“O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
Tempus Fugit
Time flies. I find it especially true as I get older. I remember when summers lasted an eternity and school went on forever. Now I look at the calendar three months out, blink, and it has come and gone. Nothing brings that point home more than seeing pictures of my little one. She went from being a much prayed-for dream, to something I could feel but not really see, to this huge-eyed angel with strawberry blonde peach fuzz, to my little girl with a mop full of curls. And it all happened before I knew it. As fleeting as the beating of a butterfly’s wings, she has said her first words, taken her first steps, laughed, prayed, written her name, and played. American cartoonist Bil Keane is credited with the saying:
“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”
And so I shall close my computer for today and spend the precious gift of time I have been given with my sweet family. I hope you enjoy the present you have been given as well.
Lalaloopsy Lollapalooza
I have probably previously confessed I have never been a doll person. Frankly I find them creepy, like clowns. I always loved plush animals as a kid and eschewed any baby Mama ever bought me. But when I saw this soft, floppy doll I knew I wanted my Baby Doll to have her. Legend has it she came to life when her very last stitch was sewn from a princess’ dress and, of course, she is my little one’s favorite beloved pink. She didn’t take to the doll right at first so I figured she just didn’t like her. I could not very well fault her when I never cared for dolls myself. And then one day I noticed Jewel Sparkles had been retrieved from a pink basket in the corner where she resided, having been forgotten and not played with. She reminded me of the sweet little doll in the Island of Misfit Toys from the old “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” claymation. The next thing I know Jewel began accompanying us everywhere: from restaurants, to the grocery store, to church. She has been hugged, whispered to, invited to tea, and loved just as I’d hoped she would be. I snapped this picture of Jewel at the country club; my little one didn’t want her getting hurt in the bounce house. The British idealist philosopher F. H. Bradley once wrote:
“We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother. It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are still but children with playthings.”
I may have never loved pretend dolls in the past but I sure do love the real life Baby Doll I am blessed with now. She has huge brown eyes fringed with thick, black lashes, a head full of reddish ringlets, the fullest lips, a pert nose, and the softest skin. Best of all, I can hug her, whisper to her, have tea with her, and love her just as I’d always hoped.
When Nature Calls
Recently there has been a lot of flap swirling around public toilets and just who should go where. I remember once when we were first married I SCANDALIZED some people at a bar because I couldn’t wait and I did not want to go by myself. So I dragged my very embarrassed new husband in there with me. The next thing I heard was, “Wait! I have to go, too!” And so for me nine years ago is when I realized a “one-holer” (as they say in Texas) with a lock and a sink is the way to go. What on earth is the crime with married couples going in together? And of course once you have a child sometimes fathers must take little girls past men using urinals. I find that far more traumatic. Then as a woman you have the perverted almost-teenage boys in the ladies’ room that try to peek at you through the stall. That’s just disgusting and a total invasion of privacy. Family restrooms starting coming around several years ago and it seemed to make it more OK to all go in together. Then it didn’t matter who changed the baby where (since a changing table is provided) and everyone got to tinkle and wash their hands in safety and privacy. This is an especially big deal for us in airports; in fact it has been a lifesaver. We all stay together and our luggage is safe. I have noticed the newest trend is to have two unisex “one-holers” in restaurants and I am all for them. If it’s occupied, the door is closed. If it’s not, the door is open. How simple is that?? No more endless waiting in line, particularly if you’re a woman. And parents can take their children to the restroom if they need to go without the horrifying choice of what they might be exposed to or see. I just don’t get what the problem is. In fact, I don’t know why no one did this 50 years ago. Meanwhile, the term “first world problem” comes to mind. Former United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Sylvia Mathews Burwell said:
“No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by invention of the toilet. But it did not go far enough. It only reached one-third of the world.”
So while we in the U.S. and other parts of the world are flipping over proverbial sausages and eggs, let us remember those who do not have the luxury of choosing even basic sanitation … much less which toilet to use.
Lucky Blue Jay Feather
I love blue jays. They have always been my favorite song bird. I know they are viewed as mean. I see them as territorial. Of course I also adore them because they’re blue. But I did not learn until about a year ago their sound is meant to imitate a hawk. Fascinating! As a wolf lover I realize the importance of our apex predators as well as our keystone species. Like the wolf, they are very intelligent and form tight familial bonds. I think its brilliant that they use the hawk’s cry as a warning to other birds. Anyway, I collect blue jay feathers — naturally shed of course. I guess it’s a bit like seashell hunting in a land-locked city. I used to have a lot of them artfully arranged in a pretty little bud vase until the cats went berserk and ate/mangled them all. *sigh* So I am now starting over and this time I’ll put them in my sitting room in my closet which I keep closed. The Scottish playwright and poet Joanna Baillie once wrote, “A willing heart adds feather to the heel.” Every time I discover a cherished blue jay feather on one of my walks I feel my heart expand and, for one brief second, it is as if my feet could take flight. Some people find pennies lucky; for me it’s blue jay feathers. Whatever it is one discovers unexpectedly that brings them delight and makes them feel fortunate … well who could not do with a little more of that?
Teeny Tiny Toads
At the request of a reader, I am attempting to document our toads in their various stages. First I showed Daddy; now meet baby! And there are more in the works. These little guys are smaller than the size of a dime. What a treasure! They almost look like flies on the ground until you see them hop. I cannot tell you how much I love them! What an unexpected joy they have been not only for me but for my husband and daughter as well. They are wondrous miracles of God and nature. Brazilian politician Jaime Lerner said this:
“There is no place in a city that can’t be better. There is no toad that can’t be a princess, no frog that can’t become a prince.”
And so goes the magic of our little pond: rife with possibilities and an endless source of mystery. My little one isn’t afraid to hold them and delights just as I do upon spying them hidden in our yard. And guess what? I predict my girl will turn out to be the lucky one as I have been. One who is fortunate to delight in nature and revel in the miracle of life. In American Indian culture thought is given as to how decisions made now will impact the next seven generations. I hope our home will be a sanctuary for the next seven generations and beyond. Achukma hoke.
A Climb And A Ride On A Giant Turtle Through Time
When I was a kid I remember going to this swanky indoor mall area that held various doctors’ offices. It had live plants everywhere and indoor fountains which sprang up and trickled down through a series of pools lined by rocks. In the center of the court were two sweeping white marble open spiral staircases. I remember it vividly although I am not quite sure how many times I went or even why. After my child was born I found myself having to return. It was like time stood still; absolutely nothing had changed. Memories at once intense and ephemeral I cannot quite explain came flooding back: space and time seemed frozen. I have to go now every six months to have my skin looked at after having a couple of “suspicious mole” scares and surgeries. About once a year my little one comes with me. I remember the last time she went she was afraid of the big turtle who has lived inside the mall forever. Actually wasn’t scared of it; rather she was reticent to climb it. She was so tiny then and it had seemed so huge. This year as we wound our way up the familiar marble staircase holding hands she shrieked, “HEY! I REMEMBER this place!!!” (She would have been three the last time she visited.) Then she asked if she could go see the turtle after my doctor’s visit. Thankfully there was no cutting this time and I left in one piece. The next thing I know my little one had scrambled without hesitation up the same turtle I had played on so many years ago. So this picture is special to me. The cycle of life repeated on Mother Turtle’s back: she is the symbol of longevity. American chemist James Bryant Conant once said, “Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” My little one stuck her neck out and conquered the turtle just as I remember finally doing when I was a kid. As we get older I think we tend to stay in our own shell more and more. It seems safer, familiar, and comfortable. I believe I shall endeavor to make progress in my life and stick my neck out more often. Who knows what I might discover.
“Interior Decorating” With Animals
When I first moved out on on my own, I remember being devastated after my first wolf hybrid destroyed something I loved. I recall my gentle mother, so quiet and so full of wisdom, saying to me I had to love my animals more than my things. It is something I have never forgotten. I can have an immaculate house that is never messed up or I can share it with creatures who have thoughts and minds of their own. Sometimes they get sick; sometimes they get nervous; sometimes they get bored; sometimes they get rambunctious. But it made me realize, would I really want to come home to NO one greeting me with affection and unconditional love versus having a perfect house? No way! Our house is a home and not a cold, sterile environment. It is lived in; it is loved. If someone is uncomfortable with that by all means please do not come over. But if if I had to choose between the love and loyalty of a four-legged versus a two I think you know which way I would go. If something has broken and has had to be glued I decree (thanks to my mother) it has “character.” I would take a home full of character to a house full of sterility ANYday. My husband has labeled any scratching or shredding in our home “interior decorating” by the cats. He has been extremely convivial about it despite my abject despondency over our shredded/decimated sheer ‘privacy curtains” by our Bengal cat Elgin (pictured unrepentantly here.) The French poet, journalist, and novelist Anatole France once said, “Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” I absolutely believe that to be true. And, as much as I value my things, I value my furry family more.
The Birthday Boy
Today was my husband’s birthday. It just so happened to have fallen on a Sunday. In our church, we pray for those who have birthdays in the coming week and ask that they stand so they can be recognized. I daresay ANY Episcopalian would rather be stabbed than have to stand, but parishioners manage to do so every week. I think my husband is no different, but he stood to receive his blessing nonetheless. Our little girl was so proud and happy it was his birthday. A four year old does not realize one views the anniversary of their birth differently than a 43 year old. I have always loved the words of Dr. Seuss:
“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”
So simple, yet such an apt sentiment. God created us all unique and individual. No one else can be you. So be the best you you can possibly be! Birthday or no, realize no one can compare or compete with the special, one of a kind, person God created you to be. Be the best you for God, for yourself, for your family, and for the world.
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