I suppose you’re wondering why this title got placed under the food category … and/or why you’re staring at a picture of a grilled cheese sandwich. To digress, growing up “Little House on the Prairie” was my favorite television show in the world, and remains in my top five even today. In one particular episode Pa works for this woman who pays him in her old fine china. I related to that a lot because once my daddy painted for a prominent jeweler and when he went for his money the man would only pay him with jewelry. That is incredibly devastating when you know your father is worried sick about making the rent. But you know what? I remember him taking both my mother and me in that jewelry store and the owner treated us like royalty. Mama picked out a gold necklace shaped like a rose in bloom that had diamonds in the center. It was understated and elegant, just like she was. And I got my first gold cross with a pink stone in it (one of October’s birthstones) that I wore proudly to church and on special occasions until I replaced it with the white gold and sapphire one I got working at Lord & Taylor when I was in college. I still wear it to this day. I keep searching for my childhood one, as Maris’ birthstone is also October and her favorite color is pink. My mother wore that rose necklace for more than thirty years. She never took it off unless it was briefly to have it cleaned. I removed it from her neck with trembling hands the day she died. We would never have been able to have something so impractical as that fine jewelry if the jeweler had not had any other way to pay Daddy. In that episode of “Little House on the Prairie” Pa worked overtime to give Ma something IMpractical. Their lives were so hard and they did not have occasion for much frippery. What stuck with me was she declared they were going to eat on their fine china every night from then on. Her family was shocked. But she was right; she said every night with her family was special and worth celebrating. Which brings me to this grilled cheese sandwich. A panini grill was given to us as a wedding present over nine years ago which I felt was impractical. After all, we had an oven with a broiler and a toaster. It came from a high end shop and I confess I’d always intended to return it. For some reason I never got around to it and it has lived perfectly preserved in its box deep in a drawer in our kitchen this whole time. Digging for something else, I realized it was sucking up a lot of space. Knowing it was way too old to take back, I removed our toaster and placed this grill out instead. It made the perfect grilled cheese sandwich with absolutely NO effort. None. I didn’t have to watch it, flip it, or burn my fingers. And it was instant. WHY had I waited so long to enjoy this? I suppose because I felt it unnecessary and therefore not practical. I was a heroine at lunch as my little family gobbled down Trader Joe’s whole wheat gluten free bread with sharp cheddar cheese. My little one said I was the greatest. And for one glorious moment I felt like the character Ma: adored, cherished, and superlative. American singer and songwriter Stevie Wonder said, “Time is long but life is short.” How much time did I spend not using that panini grill? I resolve to use it and enjoy it as often as possible. More importantly — I intend to remember the lesson it taught me.
Tranquility In Bloom
I realize I have blogged about our koi pond before. And, posting daily, I will probably do so again. I have to say I think this is the best picture I have ever photographed and I was just outside feeding the fish. I can see how the famed French Impressionist Monet was obsessed with light and shadow, the reflection upon the water, and the blooms themselves. We were lucky enough to tour his home in Giverny (which I will blog about later) and I was fascinated to learn he would paint different parts of his pond every day consistent with the movement of the sun so as to try and capture the same light each time. I recently introduced my little one to Disney’s Pocahontas and I am reminded of the beginning lyrics to “Just Around the Riverbend” where Pocahontas sings:
“What I love most about rivers is:
You can’t step in the same river twice
The water’s always changing, always flowing
Perhaps that is why I love our little pond so. There is always something different to admire: the way the water flows down the waterfalls, the ripples they create, the way the surface dapples when it rains, watching the fish languidly swim, fanning their fins in between the lily pads; noticing the pond’s reflection in moonlight, the sunlight, and marveling at its quiet stillness when it has almost completely iced over. A continual source of comfort and joy; it replenishes my spirit and is simply a reflection upon peace and beauty, and taking the time to slow down enough to savor it. Wherever you are I hope this finds you reflecting over coffee, or wine, or tea and enjoying some down time yourself. Maybe you have a good book or will be taking a long walk. Regardless, I wish you your own time and place to find your tranquility in bloom.
I’m Having My Husband Go Wild
I’ve said it before … either I find wolves or they find me. This time it was in the grocery store. And clearly I’m a sucker for marketing. Fortunately the hubs doesn’t have definitive absolutes about what I buy for him. Scratch that. He does but this falls under his I-don’t-really-care-which-one purview. I did not even bother to smell it and scent is very important to me. I’m guessing they’ve tried to gear this toward teenage boys with the whole “nocturnal creatures” thing. This would not be the first time I have had something in common with teenage boys … like video games for instance. I have always loved them and in fact would not date a boy again if I had to spend all night just watching him play in an arcade. Heck, I even judged Burk on that at Dave and Busters before we were married. I like dual players but it is also nice to have someone watching you, too. However I have also always lamented the lack of strong women and/or the roles they have been given in video games. American feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian said:
“I love playing video games, but I’m regularly disappointed in the limited and limiting ways women are represented.”
I could not agree more. So take that you statistical bean counters with your coded algorithms trying to stuff people in stereotypical boxes. I am NOT some middle-aged woman who mostly does the grocery shopping in the family; I’m looking forward to the latest version of Tomb Raider. Nevermind that I don’t really have time to play anymore; it’s the thought that counts. And now if you will excuse me, I am off to buy a two pack of mint dental floss.
The Last Day of Her First School
As the early heat of this summer rises my mind goes back to the even hotter heat of late last summer and my excitement in ordering our little one’s first ever school uniform. I went to public schools and wish I could have worn a uniform. As it was I got made fun of for wearing the same clothes. However as an adult it taught me not to care if I wear the same thing every day or not. And I truly don’t — as long as it’s clean. Pictured here is her Chapel uniform. She also has shirts monogrammed with her school’s logo, skorts and Crocs for wearing in the garden. She really is my Baby Doll and I have had more fun putting her little saddle oxfords on and then pairing them with knee highs in the winter. She has her little red monogrammed school sweater and bows and headbands and tiny white socks that turn down at the ankles. She was so small they had to special order her size as they did not keep it in stock. I notice now her jumper has gotten shorter and realize it is because she has grown. She has sung with her class, learned about the world, played on the playground, gotten into trouble, and celebrated her fourth birthday in her cheerful, nurturing school room. In this past year she has used scissors to arrange flowers, glue for art projects and she can even write her name! Sometimes she hums the Montessori song under her breath in the car. She has been to fun functions at school, holiday parties and to Chapel twice a week all throughout the year. I thought I would put her in some type of “day camp” this summer but I find I cannot bear to let her go. Tempus fugit. American author Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” I want those shadows to be filled with happy memories of our time spent together. I know the shadows from my own childhood still lovingly linger and fall softly over me like a warm blanket, and I am thankful to Mama and Daddy for giving me their most precious gift of all; the gift of their time.
I Would Like Another Mimosa
As a child I was fascinated by this sweet smelling tree that seemed to grow everywhere. I used to close my eyes and rub its fallen silky plumes against my cheek. Pictured here is a tiny survivor that still rises out of the remnants of one that was once much bigger and lives on the back of our property in the alley. It is a treasured heirloom that has grown higher than our fence and graces our yard, bending daintily toward our little koi pond. I was upset to learn years ago they are now considered “trash” trees and one can hardly find them anymore unless they’re growing wild along the creek banks. According to what I could dig up, (no pun intended) they were introduced to this continent as an ornamental about 250 years ago and it has established itself across much of the eastern United States. Apparently it has been called the “Messmosa” and that is part of why it is now considered unfavorable. Next to the magical Weeping Willow, it is the most charming tree I know. I have also blogged about the enchanting “wooden rose tree”, as we call it, (the Deodar cedar) and I find the Redwoods to be the most magestic of them all. William Blake, the English poet, once said this:
“The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity … and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.”
We are lucky to have this delicate, fragrant tree along with our mighty oaks. I believe I would like another Mimosa as I go back outside to sit under our fig tree and admire it.
The Evangelical And The Transgender
I have seen a lot of things: I have seen people discriminated against for no reason; I have seen people treated like freaks simply because they were different. Unfortunately, I have not seen a lot of compassion and understanding between highly differing ideologies. I have no earthly idea about the two men on whom I am about to write but I shall attempt to convey what I know. My little one and I frequent a certain grocery store because it carries organic, gluten free, etc. I will confess though that my husband, a very staid, cradle Episcopalian, refers to their help as “hippy granola”. There is whom I believe to be a transgendered individual working there who is a white man but with long, flowing green hair. I do NOT wish to speak for him; this is simply what I have observed. On the polar opposite end of the spectrum is a man from West Africa who is clearly an evangelical Christian. I think he makes people uncomfortable with his continual singing, whether he is in line bagging or simply walking around. Even if I were not Christian I find him infectious and uplifting. But I notice a lot of people — from workers to customers — simply do not know what to do with him. How sad it is indeed that someone cannot recognize joy when they see it; even if it does not come from their own particular ideology. The neat thing is I have witnessed an incredible comradery between these two men. How unexpected; and how lovely. While I have watched people shrink away from both men I have seen this incongruous pair joke and comfortably chat with each other — and it has made my heart soar. They could not be more divergent; and yet each is GENUINELY accepting of the other. What a lesson I find we can all learn from these two. Stop staring at the person with the green hair scanning your groceries and stop staring at the man who is openly singing “Allelujah!” as he bags your groceries. Just take them as they are. Were they kind to you during your check-out? Well then, there you go. No one is trying to push their agenda on you — whether it is the gay guy or the highly evangelical guy; they are simply trying to lead their own lives. Israeli leader Golda Meir once said, “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” I believe both men are doing that; and my little one is happy with each of them. Live and let live. Pray if you choose but allow people to be who they are and just accept them. God created each one of us and I believe we should respect that. Can I get an “Amen”?
A Brown Belt And A Broken Board!
Well everyone is just going to have to forgive me for being so proud on this one. My karate kid girl is, at 4 1/2, now a brown belt and she broke her first board on her first try! I AM SO PROUD OF HER! And I know my father would be as well. I confess I have always had an interest in the martial arts and, as noted in a past post, I have at least earned my yellow belt thus far in my journey. When I wandered into that studio a year and a half ago I had no idea about the different types of martial arts and assumed it was Japanese (karate). To my complete surprise and utter shock I discovered it was South Korean. My father served eight years in Korea and was awarded the Greek Medal of Honor for his efforts. Being half Choctaw, he had superlative tracking skills and never lost a man on night patrol. But I believe his acquired knowledge of South Korean martial arts served him just as well. He had a wicked bayonet scar down his left leg (which means he saw very close hand to hand combat) as well as having his feet frozen during a particularly harsh snow storm. He was lucky a Norwegian hospital let him keep his feet but they would always turn blue in the winter. Mark Ringler never bragged about anything he did, but men came from all over to attend his funeral with tears in their eyes telling me of my father’s bravery and how they owed their life to him. Mama and I had no idea. My Daddy died when I was just 28 years old. He never lived to meet my husband and of course did not get to see our little girl. But God was gracious in that my child shares his birthday. I knew in that moment when I discovered what their program was my father would have approved. I knew he would be so proud, as he reared me no differently than a boy, and I am much better because of it. So I don’t consider her achievements or mine “cool” or cute; I consider them an honor to my father — following in his footsteps just like his men did on night patrol all those years ago. English poet and hymnodist William Cowper wrote:
“God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.”
My father followed in our heavenly Father’s footsteps; I intend to do the same and I wish that path for my family as well. Achukma hoke.
To Munch At Brunch
I love brunch. Primarily I eat the “br” part of it as opposed to the “unch”; I suppose just because I enjoy a good breakfast. My husband really got me started on wanting big breakfasts when we began traveling. Then we’d eat a very light lunch and a little more at dinner. I have also noticed it is the only time in which it is really acceptable to have an alcoholic drink early in the day. Pictured here is simply a healthy smoothy — mango, pineapple and orange juice. I don’t really love fruit so I find smoothies are a good way to sneak them in. Of course seated across from said smoothy is my very handsome husband. And you can just see the bow of our little one next to him. The restaurant we were in recently opened a second location close to our house. When I was in college I used to deliver food for them at their first location. How’s that for full circle? The company I worked for was called Entrees on Trays and I was the only girl driver. I loved meeting the working people of that job and found the kitchens fascinating. Delivering to some of the people was not the most pleasant but that was a learning experience as well. If you live in a two million dollar plus home and your delivery driver does a good job I think you should tip more than $2 … particularly given you saved the mandatory 20% gratuity by getting it to go. But I digress. Sunday brunch is still a treat: whether on vacation, for a special occasion, on a holiday or just for no reason at all. I am reminded of American nutritionist Adelle Davis’ words, “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.” Sometimes that is not always possible and I think dinner is very important as well, but I like the sentiment. Wherever you are reading this and whatever it is you enjoy eating I wish you a happy, leisurely time spent with family and friends.
Keep Calm And Color On
Growing up I remember coloring with my mother. I loved it so and would spend hours at it. I have noticed the new trend for “adult coloring books” and how it has been said they promote calmness. I read somewhere that literally just by smelling crayons one can reduce stress. I believe it. For me it’s a scent that takes me back to my childhood; a time when things were slower, softer, kinder, easier. I remember whenever I was sick I got a new coloring book! And I had the big deluxe box of 64 Crayolas with the sharpener in the back. Of course I loved coloring the animals especially. For some reason though I always colored the cats green. I did it every time in every coloring book. I have always wondered if someone did some type of psychological assessment on me what it might mean. My friend is an art therapist and I am curious as to what she would think about my little one’s coloring. The thing I find so fascinating about it is that she doesn’t color a whole part with one shade; every piece has at least five colors to it. I have never thought to do that in my life and she has given me an entire new way of thinking about how to color. I love it and personally I think it’s very creative (says her mother, I know). She colors with bold strokes and in different directions. I always stayed in the lines, stuck with one color for each part, and colored all going the same way. I am truly delighted every time she shows me something she has done. American artist Georgia O’Keeffe once said:
“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.”
I have never had a talent for drawing but my daughter has inspired me to color again. Her efforts have encouraged me to live a little, take more chances, be bolder; to slow down and enjoy the quietness of time more, to stray outside the lines, that it’s OK to change directions, and to use all of the colors in the box. My little one has definitely made my life more colorful. And I am so thankful. Later on I think I shall join her; keep calm and color on.
Cars And Cigars
I love cars. I have always loved them. I also love cigars. My husband, on the other hand, could not care less about either. Our marriage has always been great in terms of chores because he has a thing about not having dishes in the sink so he always loads and unloads the dishwasher. I am the “techie” who handles all our electronics and the handy woman who just generally knows how to do stuff. It works out well for us and we are happy. My car needed repairs and was JUST out of warranty. When our trusted guy at the dealership said he could make that sizable bill go away and, due to my low driving mileage, it would be cheaper if I considered leasing, the first thing I did was head for the Lincoln MKX’s. As I have said, I love cars; pictured here is what I chose and it’s a real beauty. The ride is noticeably smoother, the tires better, and the sound system like a private concert hall. This is the second nicest car I have ever driven. When I met my husband I had a Land Rover but it was a terrible gas guzzler and I felt environmentally arrogant and irresponsible driving it. So it has been a long time since I have driven a “luxury” car. And OH how I have missed it! I have missed the lumbar, all the controls, and the incredible pick up when you need to get on the highway. Despite the fact that we’re in Texas my black on black car is not even hot. It has air conditioned front seats! I’ve had heated seats before but never air conditioned. I spend a lot of time in my car and it brings me great pleasure to be driving such a sweet piece of engineering again. I still have my beloved panoramic sunroof and cool dark blue ambient lighting. Of course it is keyless but now I can even program it to start from my iPhone! My app tells me how many miles I have driven, oil life, tire pressure, and all sorts of other stuff. The dashboard gives me the speed limit (VERY helpful) and I officially love my back up camera. At night when I click the key a lit Lincoln “welcome mat” is projected on both sides of the car. It is pitiful how much I love it. American actress Alexandra Paul said, “The cars we drive say a lot about us.” I hope mine says I love the outdoors, care about the environment, and enjoy using the latest technology. Some women love clothes, shoes, and handbags. Just give me a hot car and a good cigar.
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