From the time I was around three to the time I was seventeen I lived in a small two bedroom apartment with my parents on the edge of Dallas. We did not have a even have a pool, but we had something far better: all three of our windows (the living room, my bedroom, and my folks’ bedroom) faced an enormous, undeveloped field. The wildflowers grew taller than I: there were Queen Anne’s Lace, sunflowers, “Indian blankets,” and Black-Eyed Susans that I could identify. I have countless fond memories of watching the voluminous tall stems dip and sway in the wind. It was the ’70’s: the last of an era where kids could run wild. When I was little I rode FAR on my Big Wheel which I loved more than anything. As I became older I rode my bike. Every night I would pick a small bouquet of wildflowers for Mama to put on the table. She cooked everything from scratch and I was to be in by the time Daddy got home. I never realized what a tremendous blessing I had in that field. There were no houses, no lights, no wires … just unmown flowers as far as the eye could see. My dream was to get married, be a mother, and have a house on a creek bank not far from where I grew up. God was gracious and my husband was able to buy our house when we got married. It sits on a hill and just opposite it are miles of greenbelt with tall trees rising up from the creek beds. It is one of the only places in Dallas where one may still encounter something natural. By that I mean no concrete, no “helpful” stone erosion barriers, and no professional landscaping. I have taught my little girl to recognize Morning Glory, to savor the scent of wild honeysuckle, and to value “trash” trees like the Mimosa which are considered an invasive species and are now undesirable. Trees and shrubs improve soil and water conservation, store carbon, moderate local climate by providing shade, regulate temperature extremes, increase wildlife habitat, and improve the land’s capacity to adapt to climate change. Any time we see a field while we are driving I shriek at my child to REALLY look at it. “Undeveloped” land in the city is a rare and priceless thing. I find it mostly remains on flood plains. A favorite poet of mine, William Wordsworth, once said, “How does the Meadow flower its bloom unfold? Because the lovely little flower is free down to its root, and in that freedom bold.” I brought my little girl to the place where I grew up, and it was so rough she was wary to leave the car; not out of snottiness — out of fear. I had her and my husband get out and we walked into the field pictured above which was my childhood and the life which formed me. If I could grant one wish for my precious child it would be this: for her flower to be free down to her root, and in that freedom she be bold. I grew up with nothing and yet I had everything: I had a field of flowers.
Penpals
When I was the age my little girl is now, I took my first flight from Dallas to California. It was my eighth summer and, with the blind confidence of youth, I had no qualms about where I was headed. I can still remember the outfit I was wearing and how in awe my parents and I were of the new, big international airport that was just five years old. The monorails looked so sleek and everything was shiny. I hugged my folks and boarded the plane as if I’d done it a thousand times. It was an afternoon flight and as we took off I was surprised to discover land was parceled off into neat little squares which became smaller and smaller as we ascended. I know I had a window seat but I cannot recall if people were next to me. I just knew I was going to visit my uncle and his family; the only blood relations I had in the world besides my parents. My beloved grandmother had passed away the day after Christmas the year before. That’s when I recall meeting Uncle Johnny. He had nicknames for everyone and he’d dubbed me “Miss Nut.” He greeted me as I descended the steps from the plane directly onto the runway and presented me with my very first camera. It was a Kodak Flip Flash and it came inside a brown leather carrying case which I proudly wore cross body. I have so many memories of that trip … both vague and strong. My aunt had a lazy Susan at the table and I thought it was the most amazing thing in the whole world. I remember my first cousin Mike taking me through the redwoods on his motorcycle and how exhilarating it was. We were so free. I can still recall the rush of wind on my face and the smell of damp earth as light streamed through the trees like rays lighting up a stained glass window. There were hairpin turns from dizzying heights and I held on to his waist thinking it was the greatest thing in the world. Combined with the awe inspiring height and jaw dropping circumference of the trees, it left an indelible mark upon my soul. It remains to this day one of my fondest memories. I met my second cousins during my stay and the boys (just slightly older) wanted to ride their dirt bikes. Their mother asked if I would rather visit with a neighbor who was a little girl about my age. Her name was Julee and she had white blonde hair and incredibly blue eyes. Turns out we had the same “blue jean” record player and she had just gotten the album to the new hit movie “Grease.” I think I must have spent only a couple of hours there but I instantly liked her and recall her being very kind. Before I left we somehow decided we’d be penpals. In third grade, the same grade my girl is in now, I remember we wrote back and forth. My mother taught me how to properly address a letter and it was such a thrill when I got something from my penpal in the mail. At some point we lost touch. When I got married, the children from the oldest boy riding his dirt bike all those years ago were in my wedding and served as the flower girl and ring bearer. Somehow my former penpal saw me on Facebook and we joyfully reunited. She lives just thirty minutes away from me and became the mother of four. Talking to her on the phone was surreal: it was if time had never stopped but we also caught up on the past four decades of each other’s lives. Ironically, with Covid, my little girl has now become penpals with her neighborhood friend. And so the cycles of life and time continue much like the redwood forests I love. My penpal posted this picture of me from the year we’d written each other. The color has faded with time but I recognized the gap between my front teeth is the very same one my little girl has now. The American author Harriett Jackson Brown Jr. said, “Remember that a gesture of friendship, no matter how small, is always appreciated.” That small gesture of friendship offered to me over forty years ago remains not only appreciated but cherished. I hope one day my daughter will value the gesture of being penpals.
Becoming
If you could, would you take anything you’ve done back in your life? I think I would … from minor to major things. A couple of days ago I came across this praying mantis outside our door. He looked so ebullient and I suppose that is what caught my attention. A short distance away from him was a shell of his former self. I mean that literally, as I hope you will enjoy comparing the split picture above. My little girl and I were fascinated and we began to Google praying mantises. I have long enjoyed studying the intricate shells of cicadas, but I believe they only shed once. To my surprise I read that mantises shed six times until they become fully mature. Each time that praying mantis emerges from its cocoon, s/he is better equipped to deal with life. The five-star American General of the Army and Chief of Staff Douglas MacArthur (who played a prominent role in the Pacific during World War II) said, “Life is a lively progress of becoming.” What do you want to become? I have many things … a better person, a better Christian, a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better advocate, and so much more. I believe I have said here before that my daddy used to say the two saddest words in the English language were, “If only.” While we cannot change our past, I believe we can determine the shape of our future. The biggest part for me is in letting go. I want to shed my defensiveness, forget about the names I have been called and the people who have hurt me so deeply. I like the praying mantis for several reasons: it is a visual reminder by a living creature to pray, with each struggle it becomes stronger, and when it sheds its skin it does not look back at what it once was … instead, it revels in the next chapter of its life. I aspire to be like the mantis, to strive forward, and to achieve the process of becoming.
The Key And The Bolt
Growing up in our little apartment my mother kept out several things I distinctly remember. On her baby grand piano there was my baby picture flanked by my bronzed baby shoes, and a set of bronze praying hands. Over the years my baby picture was replaced with older ones of me as I grew and my bronzed baby shoes were packed away. Those praying hands, though, never left. They were a constant throughout my entire childhood. Normally I dislike detached body parts (like busts) but there was something about seeing those hands cupped together and tilted slightly upward in prayer that never failed to move me. Despite looking slightly masculine in nature, I imagined they still could have belonged to either a man or a woman. It seemed to me they were made from a kneeling position, allowing the layered cuffs around them to fall gently back in order to better offer themselves to God. Recently I came across this small pair pictured above in a catalogue. I had told my husband how much I’d always loved my folks’ praying hands and he and our little girl surprised me with them as a gift for Mother’s Day. They now lovingly reside on our den table so that every time we sit on our sofa we can see them and can be reminded. Prayer takes many forms: thanksgiving, worship, confession, and supplication are the ones I tend to use most often. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.” When I came across that it made me think of the Episcopal practice of saying morning and evening prayers. I confess I am enjoying being able to participate in morning prayers now from the comfort of home. I like to see that as one positive of this Covid-19 virus. I was never able to make daily prayers at church and now I can even play them back if I choose. Both Eastern and Western Christian churches (Orthodox, Anglican, Catholic, Assyrian, Lutheran and some other Protestant denominations) still practice the Liturgy of the Hours (multiple prayers said daily.) This grew from the Jewish practice of reciting prayers at set times of the day known as zmanim (literally “hours” in Hebrew.) Matins (“morning” in French,) Lauds (prayers at dawn,) Prime (the first hour of prayer,) Terce (mid-morning,) Sext (midday,) None (mid-afternoon,) Vespers (“at the lighting of the lamps” in late afternoon,) and Compline (the last prayer said before bed.) There are five daily prayers prescribed in Islam. To this day, one of my fondest memories is of hearing the Muslim call to prayer sung and projected throughout the medina during Ramadan while we were in Tangiers. I know Hindus and Buddhists have daily mantras and meditations as well. Even those who are not religious can be seen clasping their hands together at times. For me the praying hands are a symbol of hope, gratitude, solace, praise, and peace. As my daughter grows up I hope she will view praying hands in much the same way I did. They serve as a reminder that prayer is both an opening of the heart and a closing of worry … the key and the bolt.
Make The Ride Worthwhile
I realize that the more I write the more apt I am to repeat myself. However, I do not believe I have written about Valentine’s Day. I do not like the term “V-Day” just as much as I detest the term “Turkey Day” when referencing Thanksgiving, observed in North America and Canada. Given that I am now blessed to have a world wide audience, I am not quite certain if every country even observes Valentine’s. However, I feel there may be certain cultural parallels. On the surface, Valentine’s Day is a chance for school children to send notes and/or candy to their classmates. It may be as a friend or as a sign one person is smitten with another. As one grows older it becomes more complicated. “It is just a commercial holiday used as an extortion attempt for a guy to buy a girl flowers and chocolates and take her out to eat,” says every crummy guy whom you should not be dating. While I did have a few memorable, chivalrous Valentine’s Day dates involving surprises, lovely meals, white teddy bears, and red roses — they were few and far between. I have probably said countless times I am a hopeless, incurable romantic. Call it Freudian, but I must have gotten it from my daddy. Every year without fail he would bring Mama and me a fancy heart-shaped box of chocolates, cards, and little stuffed animals. Then he would take us both out to eat. As I got older I realized they should be alone more, but often times that only served to heighten my loneliness. Once I had a boyfriend show up three hours late (after our dinner reservations) and with three red carnations. Growing up poor I understood the expense of flowers; conversely it also made me realize their import. Mama told me once that every week when they were dating Daddy brought her a corsage. She was quietly disappointed when my grandmother asked him to stop bringing flowers because she had no more room for them in the refrigerator. I grew up watching my father write poems to my mother; leave her love notes on the refrigerator, and treat her like a queen whenever he could. At a precocious age I started voraciously reading historical romance novels. I am sure I have quite literally read thousands. Then there was the handsome, strapping blond Air Force guy who brought flowers for my mother each time he came over to pick me up for a date. He was a creep who would ultimately wind up cheating on me. Ironically the one truly romantic guy I dated, who took me on the best, most thoughtful dates, was just not someone to whom I was amorously attracted. Ultimately, I was incredibly blessed to marry the man of my dreams. However, I have discovered he shows his love in different ways. He does the dishes, helps with the laundry, and tells me he he took out the trash for me. I have never uttered a WORD of my hopeless romanticism to our daughter. By kindergarten I discovered she was exactly like me and since that tine I have strived to neither discourage her (so as to crush her spirit) nor to encourage her (to set her up for disappointment later in life) in that respect. Most importantly, I know our child sees the love between my husband and me; just as I did with my mother and father. However, I discovered she has been quietly coaching her daddy upon how to be more romantic. “Daddy, you said Mama looks beautiful but you didn’t LOOK at her!!” “Daddy, tell Mama she made a wonderful dinner.” She has simply taken it upon herself to point these things out on her own. As this Valentine’s Day approached she proclaimed we had not had a date in “ages” and proceeded to instruct her father to make reservations for a nice restaurant. Somewhat at a loss, he came to me and asked where I would like to go. I told him it was not “my” dinner but “ours” so we should select something we both would enjoy. It turns out this was our best Valentine’s Day date ever, and I knew I had my little one to thank for it. On the way out they handed me a red rose and I told my husband he should give it to our daughter. She was SO delighted! Wrapping her little arms around his neck, I heard her whisper, “I love you Daddy!” She then proceeded to whisk me away to hear all about our date. The history of Saint Valentine is muddled. Some say the third century priest defied the Roman Emperor Claudius II and performed marriage ceremonies in secret when it was said that single men made better soldiers than those with wives. Others suggest he may have been imprisoned and killed under the same emperor for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons. One legend claims he actually sent the first “Valentine” himself after falling in love with a young girl — possibly his jailor’s daughter — who visited him during his confinement. It is alleged that before his death he wrote her a letter signed, “From your Valentine.” Regardless, I find love is the common denominator in all three of these stories. I have known the undying love of my parents, both of whom have passed away. I have known innocent love which painfully failed, passionate love which did not last, and one-sided love which remained unrequited. The Saturday Evening Post writer Franklin P. Jones once said, “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” And so, dear readers, I encourage you — whether it is the love of God, a friend, family, a spouse, a child, yourself, or a beloved animal — make the ride worthwhile.
Taco Tuesdays
I believe I have written before about my (sort of) cooking schedule. While it sometimes varies, I try to do Slow Cooker Sundays (wonderful to come home from church and smell something delicious cooking in the crock pot), Meatless Mondays (I always tell my husband it won’t kill him; it also won’t kill an animal,) Taco Tuesdays (always a hit,) Whatever Works Wednesdays (translation: leftovers,) Thawed Out Thursdays (meaning whatever can be zapped, ranging from organic frozen vegetables to ready to eat meals,) Far Out Fridays (we go out for dinner,) and Spaghetti Western Saturdays (which means we have some type of gluten free “pasta” (zucchini, lentil, chickpea, quinoa, multigrain, egg noodles, etc.) and stay in to watch a movie. I don’t really know of any kid who does not love dinosaurs (or at least like them) — boy or girl. When I was little I was a proud member of the Junior Archaeological Society, and I think my husband may have been as well. We have both shown our “ancient” childhood dinosaur timelines and books to our eight year old little girl. Thankfully, she shares our fascination. We all have been fortunate enough to visit the American Museum of Natural History in New York. Growing up my husband got to go often; I have been with him twice and we have taken our little girl for the first time this past autumn. It was wild to fly from Dallas only to discover an entire bed of perfectly preserved dinosaur prints hailing from Glen Rose, Texas. At just one and a half hour’s drive away, we have vowed to visit as a family. Before Christmas I was thumbing through catalogs when I came across these “Tacosaurus” dinosaurs. I thought they might be a fun addition to Taco Tuesdays. It turns out they are not only fun; they’re functional as well. I happen to love Trader Joe’s “crispy” tacos. They take just four minutes to warm in the oven and are gluten free. The dinousaurs provide the perfect “stand” in which to fill them. Each tacosaurus holds two. I have done ground beef, chicken fajitas (also curtesy of Trader Joe’s) mixed with with Amy’s organic gluten free refried beans and green chilies, salsa, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream, and cheese that I can think of. I try to make each Tuesday different. I want to do one next with whole black beans, guacamole, lettuce, onions, and salsa. (I am a vegetarian trying to go vegan.) I also intend to use soft corn tortillas and do “street tacos.” It has been fun to watch how receptive my husband and little one have been to the “tacosauruses.” I have started getting more creative by making certain greens their “plants” and even making the beans er, placed behind them. I happen to be a huge fan of Meghan Markle. She is quoted as having said, ”I like it when a man puts thought into the kind of restaurant we’re going to. That doesn’t mean it needs to be fancy – some of the best meals of my life have been having a taco on a street corner.” I strive less for fancy and more for the thought put into it when I cook for my precious little family. At least I know my husband and our little girl look forward to filling their Tacosauruses on Taco Tuesdays.
Going Back To The Bar
When I was a little girl I remember my mother having a fancy soap “dish” in our bathroom with a fancy bar of soap in it. I believe she got it from her time in Florida when she visited an aunt and uncle after high school. As I was going through her things I found it. An integral yet insignificant part of my childhood, it was was at once both ordinary and extraordinary. Cradling it gently in my hands, I studied it. I knew it was some type of shell … abalone or Mother of Pearl maybe? I know I always found it exotic, having never been to the ocean as a child and having grown up in a land-locked city. I associate abalones as being my beloved blue, while I think of Mother of Pearl as being white. This is an exquisitely delicate, smooth pale pink which I remembered so well. I recalled it being studded with tiny “seed pearls” (or some other type of shell which I still cannot identify) and noticed with a trace of melancholy some had fallen off and were missing. Turning it over, I saw it was just as smooth on the back and I noticed the clever little detail that had always fascinated me: one of the pointed, spiraled little white shells had been glued at just the precise spot underneath so as to make it level. I confess I had not immediately given thought to the rise in recent years of “anti-bacterial” soaps in plastic containers. I now know that eliminating ALL bacteria is actually not a beneficial thing and can leave one actually “weakened” in terms of immunity and protection against germs. And then there is the issue of all the disposable plastic. Somehow I figured since we were recycling them it would be OK. For years I have been concerned, worried, and progressively terrified for our earth’s health and environment. Of course I’ve been recycling for as long as I can remember, starting with newspapers. The first Earth Day commenced the year I was born. But it has only been within the last five years that I began carrying “permanent” bags. My dad once told me when he was a kid he could remember his grandmother carrying things in bags made from old grain sacks. I have not eaten seafood since I was three and I have always ADORED shrimp — not to eat, but rather as pets. They are just so darn cute and I cannot help but think of Jacques the “cleaner shrimp” in both “Finding Nemo” and “Finding Dory.” For the past several years I have read about all manner of sea creatures dying from pounds of plastic in them. The plastic accumulating in our oceans and on our beaches has become a global crisis. According to the Center for Biological Diversity nearly 700 species from seals and birds to turtles and whales have been affected. I understand it has filtered all the way down to the ocean’s bottom feeders like shrimp and even the tiniest of krill, who are ingesting our used plastic as well. It seems to me that folks don’t really care enough until they discover that same plastic winds up going back into them. I have belatedly realized that simply recycling is not enough; real environmental change lies within consumption itself. I thought back to how much Mama treasured hand-milled soaps. I realized that, although I had not really used them in years, I had inherited my mother’s affinity for them. One of the funniest memories I have of my husband is the first time we traveled together. We were in a lovely hotel and, before he had put his things away I managed to sweep the room like a crime scene. I can still see him coming out of the shower with water dripping from his tousled, dark hair. Holding his towel around his waist and looking bemused, I remember him saying, “Hey Baby Doll, this must not be a very nice hotel … they have no soaps!” Of course he has since caught on to my penchant for keeping small toiletries. In part, they are mementos of places we’ve been fortunate enough to visit. Just opening one evokes the scent of that moment and time … Paris, Venice, Santa Fe, San Antonio, New York, Montreal, Québec City, New Orleans, San Francisco, Vancouver, Colorado, Alaska, Florida, London, Spain, Mexico, the Bahamas, and Guatemala that I can recall. The song, “Everything Old Is New Again” springs to mind. Among the lyrics: “Don’t throw the past away, You might need it some rainy day …” But the part that really sticks for me is, “Let’s go backwards when forward fails.” I feel we are going “backwards” in many ways and that is not necessarily a bad thing. We are returning to aboriginal remedies Europeans tried to eradicate (witness the recent bush fires in Australia; Native lands were not touched because they understood the proper burning techniques) as well as a return to ancient gardening techniques used by the Mayans and Aztecs where plants and fish fuel each other symbiotically. I distinctly remember watching a film in elementary school which touted that Americans were consumers. I knew even then that simply to “consume” was not a good thing. And so I have decided to place Mama’s seashell soap dish in our guest bathroom; a small return to my childhood I hope my little girl will enjoy the way I did. I may only be one person, but I believe together we all can make a difference. I am going to start being even more conscious of what I put out there, and I am starting by going back to the bar.
A Soupçon Of Silliness
It all started sometime last month. We were just talking when my husband suddenly asked, “Hey Baby Doll, you know what I should ask Santa for in my stocking? A can of tomato soup!” chuckling wryly to himself. Our little one looked up at me for a response and I simply shook my head, rolling my eyes. A couple of weeks later imagine his surprise: on Christmas morning he excitedly reached for his stocking only to discover it contained a single can of tomato soup. I could see the puzzled look on his face as he lifted his arm out while his eyes widened in shock. So there he was in his pajamas quietly blinking in disbelief as he looked to me. I lifted a brow, shrugged, and said, “I guess Santa gave you what you asked for.” All of a sudden our eight year old broke into unbridled laughter. It was infectious and I could not help but join in. My sweet husband, being a good sport, started laughing ruefully as well. I thought that was the end of it until I discovered the can in our mailbox on New Year’s Day. Our little girl hooted and said Daddy must’ve put it there. He was at work so I took the can and put it in his underwear drawer. The next day I found it on top of my china cabinet. Scrambling to retaliate, I put it in the box with his wallet. I had thought our little game might have ended, but the following day our cleaning lady came up to me with a quizzical look and asked why there was a can of tomato soup on the windowsill in our laundry room. Narrowing my eyes, I put it in his bookshelf. He responded by placing it on top of my piano. Someone suggested I put it in his car, so I let it ride in the passenger’s seat. I did not even see it the next day until I had started my car. I looked up and there it sat right on my dashboard in clear sight. I then decided to put it in our shower caddy (pictured here) and we still had not said one word to each other about it. The next day I noticed it was on our upstairs hallway chest near Saint Francis. Just when I thought I was through with the Elf on the Shelf for a year I found myself looking for new places to hide the darn soup. Currently it is nestled in a pair of his dress shoes which I trust will be found whenever he chooses to wear them to church. The British novelist Howard Jacobson said, “You don’t remember people you love by the wise things they say but the silly things they do.” I believe that to be true. Daddy was always teasing Mama, and that is what I remember the most about him. I am so glad our child is getting to see the same playful spirit my parents had with each other manifested through her father and me. After all, what would life be without a soupçon of silliness?
New Beginnings
I have been thinking a lot about change lately. For me change is scary. I have mentioned before that my little family and I do not do well with change. However one of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from my Grandmother-in-law, who is now 93. She is kind, funny, and self-deprecating. I remember about a decade ago she told me that the world keeps changing and we have to keep on changing with it. I think some people crave change and others don’t. I have lived in only five places my entire life, and they have all been within a 15 mile radius of one another. I have never been the type to suddenly change furniture or hair styles out of “boredom.” Rather, I prefer the familiar, unless it just breaks down or simply becomes too dated. I suppose the only area where I can say I readily embrace change is with technology. When I first came to SMU most of the kids had their own private computers … and had for years. I not only lacked my own; I had barely even touched one. As a journalist major, I went from clinging to old school note taking with pen and paper to being forced by one of my professors to type my thoughts directly onto a computer. At the time I thought he was mad. I realize now he was so set upon helping me because he was struggling to do the same. At first I can remember being incredibly intimidated; crippled with fear and embarrassment … and then I realized I’d have to adapt in order to pass my classes and progress. Fast forward about a decade later: when I first got married and we bought our home. I discovered my husband kept losing his keys; I mean CONSTANTLY! I tried hiding spares to no avail; he’d just lose them, too. At one point I had a locksmith in my directory because he kept losing them. Of course it wasn’t just the house, it was his car, too. Once I had to drive all the way out to the Dallas/Fort Worth International airport late at night because he’d locked himself out of the car. It may have seemed like spending money but I finally took charge and saved a ton of money (and stress) by going keyless. Our house has been connected with a wireless alarm system and cameras accessible by phone for years. In addition, when my husband complained he could not work the TV I had the different remotes combined into one as well. When he lost the remote I discovered there was an app that could be used from the phone just as easily. Yes, he has lost his phone several unfortunate times but I have it backed up and now it is only accessible biometrically. As an extra precaution I can lock and wipe his phone remotely within seconds but restore it all to a new one in minutes, should the need arise. He can now start and lock his car from his phone, as well as control the climate and all of the lights in our home. Now when we go on walks we can lock the door with our hand and not risk losing keys. Change can be stressful or restful; it can be forged or forced, and sometimes it can just simply be. The ancient Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” After 16 years at the same church I felt we should change. This is the parish in which I attended before so many of my life changes took place. It is there that I met my beloved husband, got married, baptised our child, buried my mother, and where our little girl received her first Holy Communion. I am still learning that change does not need to be the result of something bad. As I grow older I am trying to accept that all things change. I like the idea that out of an ending comes a new beginning. And so, as this is the start of the first full week of the New Year, in a new decade, in this new millennium, I offer salutations to new beginnings.
The Best Day Ever
My little one has a delightful habit of saying, “This is the best day ever!” Today is not only the first day of a new year; it is the first day of the new decade in this new millennium. As someone from the last century, 2020 still sounds somewhat futuristic. January 1 (depending upon what calendar you follow) marks a new beginning. My father always taught me to look forward, to have goals, and — above all — to always be grateful. I can remember my mother often exclaiming, “This is the best *fill in the blank* I ever had!” It became sort of a running joke that EVERYTHING was always “the best” she’d “ever had.” Our child is so much like my mother; her namesake, it is uncanny. I have watched my little one apply lip balm in the EXACT same manner in which my mother used to put on her lipstick. I have watched her decorate things exactly the way I know my mother would have. They love the same foods and have a shared love of playing the piano as well. I cannot recall exactly when, but at a very early age our daughter start saying: “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!” She has just as earnestly proclaimed it when we took her to Disney World as when we gathered leaves on our street for our Thanksgiving table. Looking back on my childhood “bests” I realize that more often than not they did not involve money. I loved taping our Halloween decorations on our apartment window every year. I loved going to church each Sunday with my folks and watching them hold hands. Money is of course not a bad thing; it is just not EVERYthing. I think it is human nature to enter into a new year wanting to make personal improvements — whether that is making more money, paying more attention to our diet, carving out more time to exercise, or giving more effort to learning a new language or skill. In the past, for whatever reason, I have always viewed an improvement as something “more.” I should try more; do more; be more. My mother gave me an appreciation for classical poetry, among many other things. I cannot help but think of the British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson, who was the Poet Laureate of Great Britain and Ireland during much of Queen Victoria’s reign. However trite, this poem of his, “Ring Out, Wild Bells,” comes to mind:
- Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
- The flying cloud, the frosty light:
- The year is dying in the night;
- Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
- Ring out the old, ring in the new,
- Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
- The year is going, let him go;
- Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Ring out the grief that saps the mind
- For those that here we see no more;
- Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
- Ring in redress to all mankind.
- Ring out a slowly dying cause,
- And ancient forms of party strife;
- Ring in the nobler modes of life,
- With sweeter manners, purer laws.
- Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
- The faithless coldness of the times;
- Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes
- But ring the fuller minstrel in.
- Ring out false pride in place and blood,
- The civic slander and the spite;
- Ring in the love of truth and right,
- Ring in the common love of good.
- Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
- Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
- Ring out the thousand wars of old,
- Ring in the thousand years of peace.
- Ring in the valiant man and free,
- The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
- Ring out the darkness of the land,
- Ring in the Christ that is to be.
And so as we ring in this New Year, I shall strive to ring OUT some things for the first time: doubt, despair, and darkness to name a few. I shall focus instead upon faith, hope, and light. And I resolve to find something between each new dawn and dusk that has made it the “best day ever.”
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