When I was six I remember I got a poster at the mall for the wall in my room.  I think it was the first one I ever had.  It was of Miss Piggy with long, curly blonde hair and she was holding roses.  I’d always assumed she’d won a beauty pageant.  I kept that poster up for almost a decade.  I loved her strength and confidence and watched “The Muppet Show” faithfully with my folks each week.  I still have my silk jacket from the fourth grade that says, “C’est moi!” on the back of it.  I also loved that she knew karate but she was still feminine and spoke French.  I was too little to see her self centered, egotistical side and just took the traits I admired in her.  Today I realize I speak French and have been to Paris, I was in the Miss Texas U.S.A. pageant, I keep my hair longer and curly, and I finally started taking karate.  Kind of crazy.  This was my first belt testing ceremony.  I think I shocked my instructor when he asked what made me want to do martial arts and my answer was “Miss Piggy”.  But there you have it.  I started something I wanted to do my whole life almost 40 years later.  And I am proud to say I was awarded my yellow belt.  My husband and my daughter were there watching me and I hope I made them proud.  I wish my folks could have been there.  I want to set an example my daughter will follow.  Never stop learning; never stop trying; never stop aspiring.  I do not have a deep, meaningful quote this evening.  Rather, I think I will close with the song I associate most with Frank Sinatra:

“Young at Heart”

Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you’re young at heart.
For it’s hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you’re young at heart.

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes.
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams.
And life gets more exciting with each passing day.
And love is either in your heart, or on it’s way.

Don’t you know that it’s worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart.
For as rich as you are, it’s much better by far
To be young at heart.

And if you should survive to 105,
Look at all you’ll derive out of being alive!
And here is the best part, you have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart.

It has always irked me that people will walk up to a little girl and tell her how pretty she is.  And, if she’s not, they’ll say her dress is.  But with little boys it’s “You’re so strong!” and almost never about their looks.  Participating in the Miss Texas U.S.A. pageant was certainly an experience.  Having never even watched a pageant prior to being in one I felt hypocritical.  I was baffled that mothers had literally groomed their daughters in the pageant system for their entire lives.  One came with professional stylists and another girl had a set of ribs removed so she could look better in a bikini.  I am not kidding.  The two girls I remember making friends with who were in the pageant with me that year were a barrel racer and a truck driver.  I admired them both and they were genuinely friendly and down to earth.  Frankly, I think they were as lost as I was in the whole thing.  They both came from small Texas towns and if you’ve heard that girls can be mean you have NO IDEA how vicious perceived beauty queens can be.  French author Ninon de l’Enclos once said, “Beauty without grace is a hook without a bait.”  Unfortunately, I saw a lot of ugliness.  At one point in the week we were scheduled to do autograph signings.  I remember this little girl coming up to me with stars in her eyes followed by a mother who REALLY did not want to be there.  She uncomfortably explained they were vacationing in Padre and had no idea all this was going on.  (The pageant took up a large part of the hotel and there were events happening all around between press, dinners, filming, preliminaries, presentations by the mayor, etc.)  I guestimated her little girl to be about eight and asked what her favorite subject was in school.  She looked momentarily surprised but then eagerly told me it was math and we went on to discuss her favorite books.  The last thing I told her was to study and work hard because that was what was most important.  She smiled shyly and said she would as she turned and waved good-bye.  That mother came back to me later and said I was the only one who did not call her daughter pretty — and she thanked me for it.

I spent most of my life living in one small apartment but I carry very happy memories of running wild through a huge field, riding my Big Wheel everywhere, and playing on the two playgrounds in our complex.  I always dreamt though of not having solid white walls, of wanting a kitchen window, a fireplace, “fancy” sinks, ceiling fans and stairs.  And I wanted the house to be on a creek.  Imagine my shock when I had just gotten engaged and the five bedroom, three bathroom, two-story house I had loved went up for sale unexpectedly — across from a big creek on a corner filled with trees.  Three of the bedrooms and two of the bathrooms are upstairs.  There is a white rock rustic fireplace (Austin stone if you want to be pretentious), and three huge skylights I adore plus one in our bathroom.  Our home sits perched atop a pretty decent hill given how flat Dallas is.  I have the biggest kitchen window you have ever seen and it slides open so I can hear the rushing of the waterfalls from the koi pond we had built right outside.  Our child’s room looks like she lives in the woods.  Her cottage bed embodies much of what I had always longed for.  We have a two car garage that goes right into the kitchen.  I can plant; I can paint and I can remodel if I want!  All of which I have done.  We now have the prettiest screened in porch that over looks the creek and beautiful flagstone in the front with a wrought iron swing.  Our house is not huge; nor does it need to be.  How much does one need??  It’s stuff and things.  I recently explained to my little girl what an apartment was.  It was bittersweet describing something so foreign to her that had essentially been part of my entire life.  The great thing about growing up poor is that I refuse to fall into the Dallas superficial “better than” trap.  I have some really nice things but they do not define me.  Nor will my child be defined by what she has or by what her friends have or do not have.  I want to instill a strong sense of charity in her and awareness of a whole other world that lives right around her.  I love that my husband stays above the fray in the whole “what do you do” (translation:  how much money do you make) game.  I remember when I was in the Miss Texas U.S.A. pageant our director said the only person we were in competition with was ourselves.  Being HIGHLY competitive naturally and carrying a healthy chip on my shoulder from a lifetime of being dubbed “less than” for our financial circumstances, I thought he was really wrong.  Now I realize how right he was.  I am in a competition with myself each day to be a better person than I was the day before:  better for the Lord, better for myself, better for my husband, better for our daughter, and to be better to others.  That is all.

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~ Author Brian Tracy

Aesop, the ancient Greek fabulist, famously said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”  I was rushing through Home Depot for fountain pumps when I was unexpectedly greeted by a cat INSIDE the store.  Of course I stopped to visit and was thrilled to see the employees had been kind enough to apparently let the kitty stay.  The ear nick clearly marked that s/he had been “fixed”.  I also noticed s/he had a hurt leg and prayed it wasn’t permanent.  Before leaving I wanted to thank someone but I was too afraid to draw attention to the feline for fear s/he would be ousted.  I do know that animal was being sheltered because of the kindness of at least ONE person.  One person CAN make a difference.  EACH of us matter.  Next I went to my doctor’s for a physical.  As I waited to sign in I saw the back of one of her receptionist’s heads and could not help but laugh out loud.  It was right before Valentine’s and she was wearing a headband with red sparkly hearts that goggled wildly back and forth.  What made it so funny was they wouldn’t stop even when she wasn’t moving.  Staring in rapt fascination, I noticed she was also wearing blindingly hot pink shoes.  She then turned around and smiled and I was still laughing.  Seeing her grinning made me laugh even more.  In turn, her smile broadened and there was a cheeky twinkle in her eyes.  What a joy to see a grown woman happy enough to be silly and spread cheer on a holiday that sometimes seems exclusive to lovers.  It was infectious (no pun intended) and soon she had her other coworkers laughing as well.  Dubbing her the “Love Bug”, I got to see her again when I checked out.  I told her I was going to tell everyone I caught a bug at the doctor’s and then together we both said, “a LUV bug!”  I spent a lot of time in hospitals the last several years of my mother’s life; it holds a sadness for me I cannot easily shake.  But for this day, this woman allowed me to forget and to be joyful.  One woman wearing a genuine smile and wibbly hearts on a sparkly headband and a hurt kitty who just wanted to be patted both brought unexpected happiness to my heart.  Each one of us affects someone every day and we may never even know it.  A smile costs nothing from its giver but could be priceless to its receiver.  Aesop’s words hold as true today as when they were written more than two millennia ago:

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Choose kindness; choose smiles.