The Spice Of Life

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Romance author Shiloh Walker said, “I’ve got this thing for spicy stuff.  Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I’m a happy girl.”  I concur!  One of the first things I first registered for after we got engaged was a rotating spice rack that could be refilled.  I like to cook, I like it hot, and I knew I’d use it a ton.  Over time I have become horrified to learn common things like ground pepper are being made with grass clippings full of pesticides and potentially carcinogenic causing chemicals.  So I’ve been trying to go all organic for the past two years beginning with our food, cleaning supplies and now spices.  Herbs and spices only keep for a year so I figured January was a good time to clean and rinse the containers before replacing them with my new organic ones.  I’ve been thinking about how cleaning the spice rack is a microcosm of cleaning my proverbial house.  Things change, people change, and we must adjust with those changes.  If you’ll notice in the picture there is one container that is empty.  It is where the cinnamon should go.  Just about everyone loves cinnamon but me; I cannot stand it because I am allergic.  The smell alone gives me vicious migraines and last year I ate something unknowingly that had cinnamon in it, causing my face to break out so badly I had to get $300 worth of special skin cream from the dermatologist.  I got to wondering, just because something is in your spice rack why should one be obliged to hold on to it — particularly if it hurts you.  I tend to have this idea that I must keep something just because it is somehow already in my life; especially if it has been around for awhile.  But how is it right if it is detrimental?  And so I pitched all the cinnamon down the sink, got a headache, rinsed it in scalding hot water, and am replacing it with an all-spice that I enjoy and will use often.  I am trying to do the same with friends that aren’t really friends, things I do not need to retain to be happy, and bad habits I should not continue.  So it may seem like a trivial thing … cleaning out a spice rack.  But for me it represents the way I am trying to start living my life in 2016.  I want to surround myself with things and people I enjoy.  I want to be a blessing to others and I know that in order to do that I must first start taking care of myself.  What is the saying?  One cannot give from an empty cup.  I want to fill my cup with strength, compassion, wisdom, discipline and joy.  I cannot believe I have had something I cannot stand for so long when I could have been enjoying something else.  Life is too precious to hold on to things that hurt us.  Happiness is definitely the most important spice in the rack.

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An Epiphany About Epiphany

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Having spent the early years of my life drinking grape juice from a tiny plastic shot glass once a month as a Methodist, I never fully understood the importance of January 6.  It was not until I was in college attending the Episcopal church, ironically, on the SMU campus that I learned about it.  One might say I had an epiphany.  I discovered the old carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” STARTS beginning Christmas day and leads us up to today.  Also known throughout the Christian world as Three Kings’ Day, it marks the time when the three Wise Men arrived to visit and worship the baby Jesus.  The word “epiphany” means the manifestation of Christ.  Everyone knows the three kings found Him by following a star across the desert to Bethlehem.  According to the Gospel of St. Matthew, we also know they offered symbolic gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  The symbolism was important as gold represented His royal standing; frankincense His divine birth; and myrrh His mortality.  During medieval times Christmas was celebrated the entire twelve days and today was just as big as Christmas Day.  For Anglicans and Episcopalians the feast marks the end of Christmas and Epiphany ushers us all the way to Ash Wednesday at the beginning of Lent.  The liturgical seasons are a lot for my little one to take in.  Right now she understands that tomorrow our tree and lights come down and she is very sad about that.  Maris said she wished we could keep them up all year.  I told her the beauty and magic of Christmas is that we carry the light of God in our hearts with us the whole year through.  I have always loved to sing; particularly in church.  My Daddy would sing church hymns in the car all the time.  Mama loved to sing as well and had a beautiful voice.  So a great love of church and music has always been a part of me — whether Indian Methodist or Latin Episcopal.  I shall close this evening with the first and last verses of a hymn written for this occasion which is a favorite of mine, “Songs of Thankfulness and Praise” penned by Christopher Wordsworth in 1862 (tune Salzburg):

Songs of thankfulness and praise,
Jesus, Lord, to thee we raise,
manifested by the star
to the sages from afar;
branch of royal David’s stem
in thy birth at Bethlehem;
anthems be to thee addressed,
God in man made manifest.

Grant us grace to see thee, Lord,
mirrored in thy holy Word;
may we imitate thee now,
and be pure, as pure art thou;
that we like to thee may be
at thy great Epiphany;
and may praise thee, ever blest,
God in man made manifest.

A blessed Epiphany to all.

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My Baby Doll

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Mama always called me “Baby Doll” from the time I can remember until she passed from this life.  I never played with dolls or even liked them but I loved the endearment because she gave it to me.  Like my Grandmother Maris, she was so soft spoken, elegant, and gentle.  I never knew where she got the idea to call me that.  Then when I met my future husband he began calling me “Baby Doll” almost from the instant we started seriously dating.  I KNEW he was different and that confirmed it.  When he met my mother I told her what he always called me and she just smiled her sweet, beautiful, radiant smile.  I asked Burk why he chose that name and he said he didn’t know.  I just knew that for whatever reason it must belong to me.  The first time I saw my precious child for whom I had waited 41 years and for whom I had so fervently prayed, I marveled at her perfect beauty and thought she looked just like a Baby Doll.  With that realization dawned:  the cycle continues.  Now I call her my Baby Doll.  Former U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “There is a mysterious cycle in human events.  To some generations much is given.  Of other generations much is expected.  This generation of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny.”  Everyone of us has our rendezvous; we just have to wait and pray to find it.

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Oh Ritz Crackers!

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For a little over two weeks now I have had a shadow; a sort of mini me.  Without complaint she has gone with me to work, thanked me for bringing snacks, and has been my partner in crime.  We have sung silly songs together, shopped together, cooked together, read books together, taken naps together, gone on walks together, watched TV together, giggled together, gone to church together, survived Christmas functions together, played games together, rung in the New Year together, and savered time in the park together.  We made up a fire hydrant game while we’re in the car.  Whomever spots the most by the time we reach our destination wins.  And she came up with a great alternative phrase for being frustrated:  “Oh Ritz crackers!”  We have brushed our teeth together, said prayers together, and have done chores together.  From the celebratory to the mundane, this little girl makes my life better.  She goes back to school tomorrow and I will miss her.  But I know she needs her friends, to learn, and to  discover other activities.  I sure have loved having her around though.  Author Elizabeth Stone said, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  My precious, funny, sweet, kind, smart, strong little girl is the keeper of my heart.  I know it’s in good hands.

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The Spaghetti Warehouse

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For as long as I can remember I have been going to eat with my family in downtown Dallas at the original Spaghetti Warehouse.  When I was very little it was practically the only thing there.  My Grandfather owned the drugstore in Ferris and was a pharmacist.  Mama said long before it was a restaurant she would go with her father to that old warehouse when it was McKesson and Robbins pharmaceuticals.  She said they would get dressed up and go into town to buy all kinds of things for the store in addition to medicine, like candy, cosmetics, and Christmas displays.  Perhaps the most notable oddity in the restaurant is an old trolley car where one can eat, hear the creaking of floor boards, and dangle elbows out of rolled down windows.  Dallas has had streetcars beginning with the old mule-drawn system since 1872.  By 1886 they were running on steam and just two years later electric cars came into place, remaining functional all the way until 1956.  Both my parents used them and so we would always request to eat in the trolley.  In the forties at just 10 years old Mama said she would ride by herself barefoot from Oak Cliff to Fair Park where she took art lessons.  I grew up dining in that streetcar and listening to their stories.  Some of my best memories are of eating warm sourdough bread with exquisitely chived butter while my folks would recollect.  There used to be all sorts of outdated equipment around and Daddy would explain what each one was for and how they worked.  He recognized every old oil sign and Mama knew all the French Art Deco pieces.  It was always good food and a great hodgepodge of real, authentic history.  Last night my husband and I decided to go there on a date.  Although the food remains the same, I felt I had lost yet another piece of my family.  They have kept the old hanging Tiffany lamp shades but the rest feels barren and generic.  Mama particularly loved the Chinese Foo Dogs that guarded the arcade entrance.  Now those statues have been haphazardly placed upstairs along with a smattering of signs still remaining and a few other pieces of memorabilia scattered about.  For decades before waiting to be seated we would always stop at the old wooden Indian pictured above.  He has been relegated upstairs now as well, abandoned and forgotten.  Gone are the pieces of old machinery, the now politically incorrect alcohol and cigarette advertisements, and the Joan of Arc poster I loved saying women could contribute to the war effort.  The manager, a fellow history lover, was gracious enough to allow me upstairs where I had only been maybe twice since 1972.  I had never seen the old victrola and he kindly let me take pictures of the few things that had not been stripped and sold.  The carpet was still the same and I recognized the old wooden sign saying “Please Use Spitoon.”  It was so impossibly sad; I could feel the whispers of time gone by all around me.  Every Italian chain I can think of has black and white pictures of people whom I neither recognize nor care about.  In an era of sameness this place stood out.  Coco Chanel said, “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.”  For more than 40 years this place was unique and special.  With the world full of Kardashians, Spaghetti Warehouse was a Lucille Ball:  quirky, timeless and grand.  Personally, I love Lucy.

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One Day At A Time

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“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,” was said by Taoism founder Lao Tzu and has long been one of my favorite quotes.  I am trying to take steps in several areas of my life to be better — more fit, stronger, more knowledgeable, better organized, and way less concerned with what others may think of me.  I got the Apple Watch right when it came out and it has made me painfully aware of how sedentary I have been.  I walk dogs for a living so how could that be?  It was shocking.  But I started the New Year off on the right foot by moving my feet until I had met all three ring goals … calories burned, 30 minutes of my heart rate elevated, and not sitting over an hour at a time.  I felt so good seeing those three rings completed one would have thought they were five Olympic rings.  I started 2016 off right and did it yesterday, and I am going to do it again today — and the next, and the day after that until it becomes habit.  My steps have started; I’m trying not to get daunted by counting them.  Rather I believe I’ll focus on the journey.

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Just Eat It

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New Year’s Day; a time of renewal and hope for the year ahead.  I find different customs interesting, particularly regarding New Year’s Day.  A lot seem to center around food, superstition, and prosperity.  Apparently in Ireland it is customary to bang loaves of bread loudly against walls and doors in order to drive out evil spirits from one’s home.  Ironically, it’s potatoes in Peru.  Three are used to determine a person’s fortune for the New Year.  In Spain the first 12 seconds of the New Year are dedicated to consuming 12 grapes — one for each month ahead.  And anyone from the South knows you’d BETTER eat your black eyes!  My Mother once chased after our church van when I was 15 and our youth group was on its way to a ski trip in Colorado.  She literally ran the van down and stood inside it until she physically watched me swallow black eyed peas steaming from a mug she’d brought before we were allowed to leave.  She wasn’t superstitious, mind you, I just had to eat my black eyes on New Year’s Day.  Oh the humiliation.  The lesson I learned from that is don’t ever try to outwit your mother.  Eating them is supposed to bring good luck and prosperity.  There is an old Southern saying, “Peas for pennies, greens for dollars, and cornbread for gold.”  Continuing Mama’s superstition, ahem, “tradition” I cooked black-eyed peas, Jiffy cornbread and (my own revision) spinach for greens.  I came across this blessing whose author is unknown:

On New Year’s Day and the whole year through, I hope the kindness you’ve given to others returns many times to you.  May hope, love, and warmth be in your heart’s possessing, and may the New Year bring you and yours many blessings.

Happy New Year!  2016

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Everything Has Its Time

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Once again I shall step into the song booth confessional:  I cannot STAND “Auld Lang Syne”.  I have always admired the Scots and love bagpipes.  I married a man of Scottish descent.  But I just find that song the most depressing ever in the history of music — and that includes its Irish cousin “Oh Danny Boy.”  I believe it is the consensus of Western society that life is linear.  You are born and life leads up to death.  But with the passing of Old Man Time’s top hat to Baby New Year the cycle repeats.  Native culture believes life is cyclical.  And in the Bible Ecclesiastes 3 verses 1 – 8 says:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I suppose at this time we make resolutions to avoid the Sisyphean fate of having to repeat our poor choices into the next year.  As we enter into 2016 tomorrow I pray we all strive for goodness, tolerance, justice and peace.  It all begins within ourselves.

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Pieces

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My little one came to me in tears.  She’d been playing with the Christmas ornaments even though I repeatedly explained they were not toys.  She said she was so sorry; that she’d broken one and put it in the recycling.  I asked her which one and discovered it was from the first Christmas Burk and I spent married.  I had never had a house and I’d had my new last name put on it.  She was sobbing and I told her that even though she should not have been playing with them I knew it was an accident.  I went to the recycling expecting to find it shattered.  Instead I was surprised to find most of it intact.  As we go through life, all of us have little pieces of ourselves that get broken for one reason or another.  It’s how we choose to deal with them that makes or breaks us.  Feminist writer Virginia Woolf said, “Arrange whatever pieces come your way.”  Sometimes a lot of shattered fragments make a beautiful mosaic.  Or we can sweep them under the rug and pretend nothing ever got broken.  Our little ornament is still salvable.  I told her I was so proud of her for coming to me and telling me.  I think it is a testament to her character that she owned up to it, didn’t try to put the blame on anyone else, and told the truth.  I feel guilty to this day because I broke Mama and Daddy’s wedding cake topper and blamed it on the cat; poor Snowflake.  As this year closes I am trying to gather broken pieces of my own mostly because it has been a year since Mama has been gone.  I realize at least I have some; they just need to be repurposed into the mosaic of my life and my daughter’s.  We will always miss her, but brightly colored pieces of her that cannot be dimmed still shine their way through.  I will not let them fade with the passing of time.  And this mosaic will become part of others in the years to follow.  It already carries strong pieces of a Choctaw matriarch I never knew.  Then came pieces so elegant from my Grandmother Maris.  Daddy’s pieces have been the most prevalent, carrying wisdom, positivity, and perseverance.  Now Mama has added her own funny ones, soft ones, and beautiful ones and rather than try and bury them I choose to gather them all up and wrap them about me like a patchwork quilt.  The mosaic of my daughter has already started.  I think it carries seeds of greatness as its foundation.  From my side alone she has inherited the blood of French royals, Choctaw spirit and Irish fire.  And so our little ornament cannot hang anymore but it still exists; altered but standing.  It does not stand defeated, rather it stands open, proudly full of the memories from its past with room and hope for those yet to come.

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Let It Be

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I confess I may be the only person on the planet who does not revere the The Beatles.  We had to sing “Eleanor Rigby” in elementary school and it STILL haunts me.  I literally run if I hear that awful tune or “Yellow Submarine”.  The relatively new jargon “ear worm” comes to mind.  However, I have always liked “Hey Jude”.  But the song that has been weighing heavily and comfortingly on me lately is “Let It Be”.  I had no idea it was Marian until a few years ago.  Statistically I think this is the time of year when there are the most deaths in general as well as suicides.  There is the stress and pressure of in-laws and dysfunctional families for some and the crippling loneliness of loved ones lost for others.  There is also a certain melancholy for me that creeps up with the ending of each year.  Retired Anglican Archbishop and Nobel Peace Prize recipient The Most Reverend Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”  And now the lyrics to The Beatles song I suppose everyone knows:

“Let It Be”

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Ah, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Oh, there will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

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