For My Mother

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When I first learned about Feast Days, I could not fathom why it marked the day of the person’s death.  I found myself wondering instead why it wasn’t on their birthday.  Now, as I struggle with the first anniversary of my beautiful Mama’s death, I finally understand.  She is at home with the Lord and at peace.  I want to honor her and celebrate her life.  She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and also the kindest.  She instilled in me a love of the written word, classical music, and flowers.  She was so quiet and so gentle but had a wit and humor that was unmatched.  I learned this poem reading it to her almost every day last year.  It was her favorite flower, one of her favorite poems, and by one of her favorite poets.  How I love you Mama.  This is for you:

Daffodils

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o’er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they Outdid the sparkling waves in glee:  A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company:  I gazed – and gazed – but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. ~ William Wordsworth

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Thanksgiving

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Tecumseh, the great Native American leader of the Shawnee, said, “When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength.  Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.  If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”  I bought the little sign pictured above recently and I keep it in our kitchen.  I see it every morning as I’m making coffee.  My father showed me the joy of finding joy.  It is all around us everyday regardless of our circumstances.  I chose this day to launch my blog.  The name is a metaphor for the hidden gems we all have at our feet … some we work for; others we simply stumble upon.  Seashells are wondrous works of art Mother Nature has given us all.  Carousels represent the cycles of life as well as its ups and downs.  Some turns go faster than others and some we wish would move more slowly.  My Daddy used to say that time and tide wait for no man.  I hope this will be a place of reflection and source of happiness for any who visit.  Achukma hoke.

Thanks for Provision

Almighty and gracious Father, we give you thanks for the fruits of the earth in their season and for the labors of those who harvest them.  Make us, we beseech thee, faithful stewards of thy great bounty, for the provision of our necessities and the relief of all who are in need, to the glory of thy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

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Duck!

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Our wolf hybrids are a brother and sister named Cheyenne and Dakota.  They are 75% Canadian Timber Wolf and 25% Siberian Husky.  Our house is like a camp site because they’re so leggy they can reach any food or drink left just about anywhere.  Their diet is mostly bison.  I do think they consider themselves somewhat domesticated hunters though, as they are always on the prowl for food — when they’re not sleeping that is.  Being the owner and operator of a pet sitting business, around the holidays it’s a zoo.  Poor babies; it’s like the cobbler’s children who have no shoes.  I came home after a long day of work to find their bowls were empty.  One of them had put their beloved duck in their dish as a not so subtle message.  I guess they were in a fowl mood.  😉  So I shuffled off for buffalo, and they wolfed down their food.  As sweet as they are, I do not recommend having these beautiful animals as pets.  My connection with wolves is deep and I consider our wolf dogs to be ambassadors for their brethren in the wild.

“I’ve always said that the best wolf habitat resides in the human heart.  You have to leave a little space for them to live.” ~ Former U.S. Wolf Recovery Chief Ed Bangs

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Priceless Works Of Art

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When I was a little girl I never could understand why my mother lit up every time I came home with something I’d made her.  I have never been able to draw but I do think I have at least always put colors together well.  As I got older I remember being particularly proud of a macaroni shelled jewelry box I’d made.  She lovingly kept my clay ash trays (it was the ’70’s) even though she never smoked a day in her life.  I always wished I could have bought her something “real” and “nice” in my eyes.  Now that I am a mother I cherish the surprise presents I am being presented with proudly.  I bought this cool frame that opens so displayed works of art can be rotated but kept safely under glass.  Today as I was at the farrier’s getting my hooves smoothed (AKA the nail salon) I was greeted triumphantly by one beaming little four year old after she ran in looking for me saying, “Mommy!  Mommy!”  Holding her piece of paper up as far as her little arms would reach, she grinned back at me as I saw a slightly blurred image of her, given I was overcome with joy.  Such a simple thing — crayon scribbles.  And yet they are priceless to me; one of a kind masterpieces each and every one.  Novelist Margaret Wolfe Hungerford is generally credited with the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  I am collecting a house full of beautiful originals and I could not be more blessed or more proud.  I hope she thinks I’m beautiful, too.

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God The Help Of Those Who Seek Him

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A Song of Ascents

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.

The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. ~ Psalm 121

My father used to carry around a New Testament Bible wherever he went.  It was always beat up because he read it constantly.  I wonder what he would think about the entire Bible being downloaded onto not only my iPhone but my Apple Watch as well.  Scripture at your fingertips in any form is always a comfort.  I love the Psalms and this one in particular.  Thank you Daddy for instilling in me a love of God’s Word.  Achukma hoke.

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The Unplanned

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We were all set to go to an upscale bowling/restaurant for a fun family night out.  I made the mistake of not making reservations on a Saturday night and we could not get in.  As I watched our four year old struggling not to cry, one of the hostesses suggested the playground across the street.  And so in the cold and the dark we reluctantly trudged over to play.  This is something Burk and I never would have done before having a child obviously.  Instead we were out in the crisp night air all alone listening to our daughter’s giggles surround us as she ran around with delight.  She had her light up tennis shoes on which were not only a comfort to me as a mother; I confess I wish I had a pair of my own!  They’re super cool.  So Daddy climbed to the top and pretended to guard his castle as Maris stormed his defenses.  We didn’t want to eat back at the place since we could not bowl so we wound up walking to a German restaurant.  My maiden name is German and I know next to nothing about Germanic cuisine.  There I sat for the first time in my life having something called spatzle with mushrooms.  It was a little weird but very good.  John Lennon famously said life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.  A spunky little girl didn’t let a major disappointment slow her down and we were all the better off for it.  Every single day I thank God for her.  Now we have a night to cherish that we will all remember.  It was an ordinary night full of magic; totally unplanned.

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Anchorage, Alaska

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Now in Anchorage, we had one final destination before we headed to the airport.  The first thing that struck me about the city was that the only other place I had ever seen so many Native people was in Santa Fe.  It was so good to see.  We settled on the Alaska Native Heritage Center as our last place to visit.  It is an educational and cultural institution that shares the heritage of Alaska’s eleven major cultural groups.  Located only ten miles from downtown, it is situated on twenty-six wooded acres.  I found the dances were unfamiliar to me, as my heritage is Choctaw.  But they were interesting to observe and learn more about.  We toured different life-sized dwellings and spoke directly with people who were Athabaskan, Tlingit, Haida and Aleut.  I found the whale bones fascinating; at first I thought they were wooly mammoth tusks.  It was getting dark despite the early hour and I realized I had never traveled so far, nor had I been away for so long.  As we made our way to the airport I realized I was ready to come home.  One of the people whom I admire the most, Laura Ingalls Wilder, said that home is the nicest word there is.  I agree.

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Whittier, Alaska

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It was time to depart.  But we still had two cities scheduled to see and things to do.  We were greeted with an enormous Hummer SUV and our destination was the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center, a nonprofit organization that cares for injured or orphaned animals on 144 acres located just off the Seward Highway.  I thought it was a wonderful place to visit not only because we got to get out and see so many majestic animals up close, but more importantly, knowing they were there for help.  And our patronage was serving to help as well.  We saw adorable foxes curled up cozily, a brown bear sitting on his haunches, owls blinking at us sleepily, and my favorite was the biggest moose I had ever encountered.  He was sweet and shy but I notice he was not without companionship.  There were also bison, elk, caribou and musk ox.  Any time we get a chance to support wildlife or wild places we try to do so.  They are our true national treasure.  In his book “The Wild Places” travel writer Robert Macfarlane notes:

“Wild animals, like wild places, are invaluable to us precisely because they are not us.  They are uncompromisingly different.  The paths they follow, the impulses that guide them, are of other orders.  The seal’s holding gaze, before it flukes to push another tunnel through the sea, the hare’s run, the hawk’s high gyres;  such things are wild.  Seeing them, you are made briefly aware of a world at work around and beside our own, a world operating in patterns and purposes that you do not share.  These are creatures, you realise that live by voices inaudible to you.”

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Last Day At Sea

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My first big trip had been so magical.  I did things I never thought I would do — from zip lines to mushing sled dogs to taking a helicopter and riding in a giant Tomcat SUV up a glacier.  As for our last non stop day at sea … it was rough.  Visions of the Titanic flitted through my head as it got very choppy on board and for the first time the ship really lurched.  I remember watching the curtains sway violently while, like our time in the helicopter, I battled a secret fear of imminent death.  Poor Burk literally turned so green with sea sickness he had to see the ship’s doctor.  Then it finally felt like the “Love Boat”!  Outside the skies were grey and the water was grey.  Inside the formal dining room the chandeliers gleamed a warm, inviting light which danced off the silver and crystal.  We had gotten to know our servers and the staff and it was like saying good-bye to family.  After dinner I enjoyed my last cigar and soaked for the final time in that beautiful marble tub filled with bubbles as crisp air and the sounds of ocean swells blew through the sheer curtains from my open balcony.  One tradition Burk and I started on this trip is what we call “schlock shopping”.  I love little souvenirs — especially stuffed toy animals and magnets.  And, as a wolf lover, I had hit the jackpot!  At every port Burk would help me scout for wolf things to add to my collection.  I still have them all and I cherish each one.  They bring back a little part of our trip every time I see them.  I am so fortunate that Burk spent his own money so I could go along on this magnificent journey.  It will always hold a special place in my heart; just as he does.  The novelist and poet Cesare Pavese is credited with saying we do not remember days, we remember moments.  I think if you’re really lucky, in the special times, you remember both.

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Glacier Bay, Alaska

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After having woken up each morning some place different for almost a week, I thought for sure I would be acclimated by then to the delightful shock of wondering where I was.  But nothing could have prepared me for this.  I will never forget going to my balcony right above the water in the early morning hours after being awakened by the booming, crackling sound of thunder.  Only it wasn’t thunder; rather it was massive chunks of a glacier breaking off and falling into the sea.  It was scary, awe inspiring, and mesmerizing for me in particular because the ice was a deep, dark shade of my favorite color — blue.  According to the National Park Service, Glacier Bay covers “3.3 million acres of rugged mountains, dynamic glaciers, temperate rainforest, wild coastlines and deep sheltered fjords.”  It is a highlight of Alaska’s Inside Passage as well as a World Heritage Site.  One of the largest international protected areas, it rests on 25 million acres.  Since our ship was smaller we were able to get closer than some of the behemoths.  I could not believe we were just passing idly by as nature was, in all her sound and fury, warning us in 2006 of things to come.  I pray we take global warming seriously.  I pray for the wildlife struggling to survive:  the wolves, the polar bears, the lynx and the wolverine.  I pray for the otters, the whales, the seals and the sea lions.  I pray for the eagles, the puffins, the herons and the gulls.  I pray for all God’s creatures and this one planet we all share.  The first female Chief of the Cherokee Nation, Wilma Mankiller, once said that in Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to remember seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people.  I pray that we may not simply survive but thrive — for the sake of us all as well as the next seven generations to come.  Achukma hoke.

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